Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants

When it comes to wedding planning (as in life), always remember who you are

2012-01-23T06:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, even though you're not my kid, I'm going to give you the same motherly advice I gave my kids when they were growing up. Oh heck, I still give them this advice.

"Remember who you are."

It's one of those pieces of advice that sounds so simple, but can be oh-so-difficult to hang on to when the going gets tough.

There's nothing like planning a wedding to bring out the opinions of others. Everyone from your boss to your college roommate to anyone on the subway who spots your engagement ring feels entitled...nay...obligated to offer their personal insights on every aspect of your big day. And heaven forbid, if you do have a strong sense of self and stick to your guns about having your wedding, your way. Then you're accused of being intransigent, stubborn and just plain close-minded.

Kermit The Frog thought it wasn't easy being green? Hell, he didn't know nuttin'! Try being a bride-to-be who flaunts any wedding tradition. Now, that's hard.

So, here's some advice on how to implement my advice.

First of all, to remember who you are, you must know who you are. And by knowing who you are, I don't mean the "you" that others have defined and that you have learned to reflect back to the world. I mean the "you" that is "you" at the core. You know who she is--on some level, anyway, even if you can't conjure her up at the moment. When you show her face to the world (instead of the non-you you) you feel dead-on centered and empowered. Yeah...that's her.

You really ought to get better acquainted with her. She's going to come in handy after you're married.

Take some time. Get quiet. Go deep. Who is the to-the-core you that you want to bring to your wedding day and to your marriage?

Will the real you please step forward? (This is where writing down your thoughts might come in handy.)

Who you are is not the who you "should be," the who others want you to be or the who you aspire to be "if only." Who you are is not defined by economic status, insecurities, past failures or genetics. Who you are is defined by a rock-solid knowing of what's important, what you value, what makes your tummy do the happy dance and what makes it turn over in revulsion, and what matters most to you. People who remember who they are know that once these things are taken into consideration, everything else falls into place.

The "who" in who you are is not concerned with shoulds and must-do's. If you plan your wedding according to who you are at your core, then you won't look back on one minute of your journey with regret, recriminations, hard feelings or anything less than pure joy.

Examples of couples who planned their weddings according to their own selves include:

Those who elope because they really want their exchange of vows to be intimate and only about them
The couple who throws a pot luck reception even if 100 people on the bridal forum tell them it's tacky. (Perhaps tacky suits them!)
The bride who doesn't wear white or cream
The couple who walks up the aisle together (before the vows) rather than have the groom wait up front and the bride escorted by her dad
The couple who limits their guest list to 50 because they value owning their own home in a year and that's where they want to invest their money
The bride and groom who eschew traditional vows because they prefer to make their commitment in their own words
The newly married couple who takes their children along on their honeymoon

The possibilities for remaining true to yourself are endless. Only you can determine what that looks like, but here are some tips to stay true to who you are:

Don't get sucked into the glossy fake world of bridal magazines
Set a budget and stick to it
Don't buy into the values of the Wedding Industrial Cimplex (they have their values/you have yours, right?)
Don't compare your insides to anyone else's outsides when it comes to planning your wedding. (You have no idea what really went on behind the scenes for your best friend's to-die for extravaganza wedding blowout.)
Refuse to adopt a Bridezilla mentality
Don't stop living the rest of your life just because you're wedding-planning
Be careful about over-soliciting the opinions of others. Trust your own judgment. Only you can know you 100%.

Take some time to reacquaint yourself with who you are before you select your bridesmaids, interview photographers and begin the hunt for a venue. Do it before your draw up your budget, your timeline and your guest list.

It's that important.

The Irreverent Reverends of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Steamboat Springs Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Gay Rights for Idiots

2011-12-15T05:48:00.000-08:00

I've been toying with writing a similar blog post on this topic, but someone beat me to it. And did a hellluva lot better job at it than I would have anyway.

How to Explain Gay Rights to an Idiot

I found this over at BuzzFeed, but don't know the author to credit. More's the pity. Something this good should get credit where it's due.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Steamboat Springs Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

A simple, beautiful and fun way to include children in your ceremony (and it's inexpensive!)

2011-12-12T06:12:00.000-08:00

Couples are always asking us for creative ways to include their kids in the wedding ceremony. Over the years, the role of children has evolved from being flower girls/ring bearers to having the kiddos escort Mom down the aisle, light their own unity candles, pour sand in the sand ceremony and do readings (if they're old enough.) There are family medallion ceremonies, vows to the children and the presentation of gifts. Sometimes the little ones take center stage over the couple! But no matter; it's all good.

One idea that we often suggest is to have the children involved in the signing of the marriage certificate. Depending on the state in which you are to be married, the kids can either sign the real thing (as in Colorado), or a commemorative (non-legal) certificate can be used (as in Oregon and California).

Here's suggestion on how to pull this off:

After the vows have been said and the rings exchanged, the officiant will announce to the guests (if there are any) that the couple will now sign their marriage license before all of them. We will go on to say that the couple has asked some very special and important people to witness their license-signing.

The children (any number of them) can then be called up. The bride/groom will sign the license (or certificate) and then the children can each, in turn pen their name. And it doesn't matter if the child is too small to write their name out. There's nothing cuter than a three year old seriously drawing a happy face or an X to mark the spot on Mom and Dad's "official" papers.

And if the child is a babe in arms? Use an ink pad and a thumbprint to witness the license. Just make sure you have a wet-wipe handy.

Afterwards, the commemorative certificate can be framed and hung in a place of honor. (Obviously, don't do this if it's your real marriage license.)

We've found over and over again that kids just eat this up--not to mention the guests. It makes them feel important (the kids--not the guests) and involved--and grown up. Additionally, for the wee ones that are a bit shy, it's a relatively non-threatening way of being involved. Sure, all eyes are on them, but they're too busy signing to notice.

And the good news is, it can be done with any ceremony level--be it just you and the kids getting married on the beach, or 200 people at a swanky wedding venue. And one needn't have a totally customized ceremony to include this. It fits nicely into the simplest of ceremony scripts as well.

And of course, if your kids are adults, they can still sign the license. No happy faces or ink pads needed!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Steamboat Springs Wedding Officiants
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Marital Blessings

2011-11-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving, I am especially grateful for my marriage.

Some might wonder, why marry at all? Let alone be especially grateful for it. Marriage has been promulgated as an antiquated institution, born of the days when women were little more than the personal property of their husbands--having graduated from being the personal property of their fathers. We're all familiar with the statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce. And while that number has been disputed, debated and sliced and diced in hundreds of varying ways, the end result is the same.

Marriage isn't exactly a solid bet.

The GLBT community want in to the elite status of marriage. Self-righteous conservatives proclaim that marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman. People fight for the right to be wed on the one hand and disparage it with the other. The Catholic Church kicks you out if you leave one marriage and enter another. Oprah will marry Stedman when hell freezes over.

Let's face it--almost no one is neutral on the subject. Odd, when you think about. Marriage is such a personal thing, yet it seems as though everyone wants a say in it--from the government to the church to your mother.

And what's the point of it all, really? It's no longer expected that couples need marriage to live together, have sex or procreate. Ninety-nine percent of the couples we've married over the years have lived together beforehand and having a couple's children (his, hers or theirs) involved in the wedding ceremony has become commonplace. Yes, there are certain financial benefits to marriage, but those get slimmed down by the year and let's face it, said benefits pale in comparison to the effort that sustaining a thriving marriage can sometimes take.

Marriage is on the wane, they tell me; although you'd never know that by the state of Lyssabeth's, for we continue to grow each year. So, in spite of it all, we marry. Sometimes we marry again. And again.

So why do we do it? Why do we march down the aisle and sign that piece of paper in spite of the evidence that a marriage license holds no more power to keep us together than our driver's license ensures that we won't have an auto accident.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm willing to bet that there are others who share my sentiments.

When I got divorced in 2004, I swore I was pretty much done with marriage for myself. You might think that odd, for someone in my line of work. Yet it's not. It wasn't solely due to my own aborted attempts at marital bliss that I eschewed marriage for myself. Rather, it was because I could see how easy it was (still is) to either get married or get divorced in my home state (which at the time was Colorado). Want to live a life of eternal commitment? Pay your $30 and sign here. Want to end it? As long as you aren't quibbling over assets and there are no children involved, pay your $168 and sign here.

I guess divorce is 5.6 times more valuable than marriage--at least in the state of Colorado.

So I not only felt that marriage was not in the cards for me, I simply felt it was not something I needed in order to be happy or fulfilled. Companionship, sex, even long-term commitment--all of these could be mine without marriage, so I didn't concern myself with it. I took back my maiden name after 30 years of being called someone else and went about my life.

And then there was Jeremy.

And funny enough, one of the opinions we shared when we first met was an aversion to remarriage. He had recently ended a quarter-century long marriage and I'd had more than one marriage under my garter belt. We were together. The piece of paper didn't matter.

Until it did. To me.

But why? In spite of all of the above truths, I am married once again. Indeed, I'm on the cusp of our fifth year of marriage.

It's this. Despite all of it, there's something very courageous about making a public and legally-binding declaration of one's commitment. In spite of our history replete with marital baggage, the fact that the odds are against us, the injustice that this right is not available to everyone--or maybe because of all of these--there is great power and meaning in the act of standing before each other, one's family, one's friends and one's government--and saying yes.

Yes, I commit. Yes, I believe. Yes, I will grow in the context of this relationship and yes, I will permit my partner to grow. And by the way, I'll do it on the days when it's easy and on the days when it's difficult. And yes, this person loves me enough, and I him/her to make this declaration publicly--knowing I might fall flat on my face (as so many of us have in the past) but believing that this (wo)man is worth taking that risk for. And then to top it all off, I am going to put my name on a very official-looking paper issued by my government that records for all posterity that I have made this promise.

This is oh so much more than pledging eternal love behind closed doors with no one but each other as witness to said pledge.

So much more.

And so I did and so he did and so many of us do. And that is why this Thanksgiving I am very grateful for my marriage. Not just for my husband (for whom I am indeed most grateful) and for my relationship in general (ditto). But for the marriage--the whole legally sanctioned kit 'n kaboodle.

Because at the risk of sounding like a tired old cliche, when the right person comes along, this is a commitment that no longer feels antiquated, unnecessary, or simply an insignificant piece of paper.

And I am grateful that I came to this realization, and so did Jeremy. And so do many others of us who are blessed enough to walk this path called marriage.

Very grateful indeed.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Steamboat Springs Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Is your wedding about you, your family, or your guests?

2011-11-18T07:01:00.000-08:00

Is your wedding about you, your family or your guests?

Apparently, that is the million dollar question. The answer is, "it depends on whom you ask."

We work with a ton of people getting married (or otherwise committed, in the case of non-legal commitment ceremonies). Some couples will tell you unequivocally that it's their day and they'll do it up any way they want, thank-you-very-much.

When I'm working with an "it's about us and no one else kind of couple," I witness things like the following:

They'll have their best friend get ordained on the Internet to perform their ceremony while Uncle Lester (the Roman Catholic priest) sits in the third row aghast at their hippy-dippy wedding ceremony.
They don't care if Dad wants to walk his baby girl down the aisle; the idea of giving away the bride is archaic and demeaning. She'll walk down solo--leaning on no one but herself.
Get married in a church? Are you kidding? It's much more convenient for everyone if the ceremony and reception are in the same location. Besides, they haven't set foot in a church in...well...since they made their confirmation in the 8th grade.
Elopement ceremonies are big in the "it's all about us" school of thought. A personal exchange of vows on a mountaintop is more meaningful than a scripted affair in front of 150 family members, friends, co-workers and "plus 1's."
If a couple is truly committed to the "it's all about us on this one day" philosophy, then they tend to be much less stressed during the wedding planning process. They are at peace with their decision and the wants, nagging, pleadings and threats of their family members roll right off their backs. They look Mom dead in the eye and calmly tell her that they'll be serving apple pie instead of wedding cake at the reception and that no, they will not be having Cousin Sue, the soloist, sing Love Me Tender during the unity candle ceremony. In fact, there won't even be a unity candle ceremony.
They tend to do more of the wedding planning on their own as opposed to getting an army of help from friends and family. More people in the mix only generates more opinions!
By and large, most couples in the "it's all about us" camp tend to foot more of the wedding expenses on their own.

On the other end of the spectrum are the couples who feel that the wedding day is more about community. It's not just their day, but an occasion to bring family together, to honor loved ones. They see their wedding day as being about celebration, tradition, and the blending of families.

These are the couples who:

Take the wishes of their parents into account--sometimes at the expense of their own desires. Maybe they'd prefer a non-religious ceremony, but their church-going parents would be offended if there wasn't at least a nod to a higher power somewhere in the ceremony. So, the Lord's Prayer it is.
Make more concessions to accommodate others, be they family members, vendors or wedding party members.
Generally want others to play an important role in their day. From engagement to "I do," there are lots of helping hands and on the day of the wedding, many have a role and/or are honored.
Have financial support from family for their wedding day. They reason if Mom and Dad are footing the bill, they should have a say in how things are handled and what items are included.
Wouldn't even THINK of eloping. Their family would pitch an absolute fit.
Sometimes, these are the couples who get the most stressed out during the wedding planning process. Juggling the (often conflicting) wishes of others can get exhausting!
These weddings tend to be a bit more traditional in flavor.

The above represent the two opposite ends of the spectrum, of course, and there are many points along the way where a couple might stand on the "whose day is it, anyway?" question.

I am neither for or against either of these approaches. Indeed, I could argue a case for (and against!) both if pressed. And since I've been both bride (more than once) and mother of bride (more than once), I've been on both sides of the fence in terms of wanting to have input and not wanting anyone's input at all.

But I will say this in the way of advice-dispensing. Decide where you fall on the spectrum before you begin your wedding planning. Changing the rules mid-stream will do little more than create conflict and angst. If you begin by getting the opinion of everyone from your mom to your next door neighbor to your co-worker in the next cubicle (and they will all give you their thoughts with gusto, believe me) only to put up the Do Not Disturb sign six months into it (or worse yet--chuck it all and elope!), you will confuse (and offend!) others to no end. Ditto if you take on an independent stance and then come looking for help when you get overwhelmed by handling everything yourself.

Be Ms. and Mr. Independence or Ms. and Mr. Accommodating or anyone else that suits you. But decide right away where you stand on the issue.

And know that there is no right or wrong way to be. Only what feels right to you.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
SteamboatSpringsWeddingOfficiants.com
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #8 - the case of the missing props

2011-10-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

Picture this--the bride is glowing, the groom is beaming. She makes her entrance flawlessly; the officiant is superb (he must be a Lyssabeth's wedding officiant!), the guests are engaged, vows recited perfectly, your mothers are called upon to come up and light the candles for the unity candle ceremony.

Errrr...cough, cough...ummmm...'cept there's no lighter. Not a Zippo nor a match in sight.

Two rocks, anyone?

While forgetting key props is not the end of the world (and it does give one an amusing tale to tell after the fact), it's an act that can be avoided with a little bit of pre-planning.

You don't need anything, really to complete the wedding ceremony and thus be legally wed. Even wedding rings are not a requirement. But most couples who go to the trouble and expense of throwing a larger-than-elopement-style wedding usually have some aspect of the service that utilizes something symbolizing love and commitment. Whether it's roses to give your parents, the mixing of sand, a pillow for the ring bearer, the lighting of candles, the tying of ribbons or the blessing of stones, there are a few things you might not want to be without on the big day.

There's one of two ways that you can ensure that this will (most likely) happen. #1. Have a box by the door into which everything ceremony-related and critical must go. This would include your marriage license and rings along with any other ceremony adornments you've elected to use. #2. Put someone else in charge of these things--a trusted friend who knows you'll kill her if she allows any harm to come to the box of ceremonial goodies.

However, in case the friends falls through, you do have options:

If you forget your rings, simply borrow rings from one of your guests. It's not an omen; it's not bad luck; it's no big deal. Trust me on this.
No lighter for the unity candles? Find a smoker. Problem solved.
No candles? Hmmmm....that one is a bit tougher. If you're in a church setting or another traditional ceremony venue, they may have candles on hand. Or maybe someone can pop over to a local market/drug store for candles. If not, the unity candle ceremony might have to come out.
Forgot the roses? Simply pull a flower or two from your bouquet or a reception table centerpiece. No one will know. It doesn't have to be a rose, either--any flower will do.
Your little guy doesn't have to have a heart-shaped pillow to hold the rings. Just send him down the aisle on his own, sans rings. He just got promoted to junior groomsman!
No flower petals for your flower girl to scatter? Hand her a single stem from one of the girls bouquets and just let her walk down the aisle like a grown up. She'll love it!

Most important--keep the above mishaps in perspective; and keep your sense of humor. You're still going to be married even if you guest don't get to wish upon a stone for you, or you and your beloved don't symbolize the unity of your two hearts by the combining of your individual flames of light.

It might be initially upsetting to realize that your ceremony won't go 100% according to plan, but just take a deep breath and realize that all you need do is compromise, improvise or eliminate. Then, put on your veil, grab your bouquet, and sail down that aisle!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Being a "good enough" bride in a perfectionist wedding vendor world

2011-09-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

I often compare the process of planning a wedding to that of owning a business. The longer I do this (i.e. run a business that has to do with weddings), the more parallels I see.

Gotta love that paperwork!

Case in Point. Over the past month, I've been working with my attorney to update and tighten up my contracts--both the ones I use for clients and the ones I used to contract with our officiants.

I love my attorney. (I know--how often do you hear those words?). She not only knows her legal stuff, she takes the time to make sure I "get it" and she's very good at explaining the why's of the things she advises me to do. After a solid week of wrangling with legal phrases, exhibits, addenda and looking at what-ifs from every angle, I think we almost have it nailed.

But I have to tell you, I was getting really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point (sound familiar, wedding-planning couples?). My lawyer was advising me to put things in the contracts that I wasn't comfortable with--things that were designed to protect me, for sure. But yet, they were things that didn't jive with my gut on how I wanted to work with others--even if they were legally-smart moves.

Realizing that not only was I was paying her for her expertise, but I trusted said expertise, I struggled valiantly to incorporate everything she was advising into my contracts.

But ultimately I failed. And I'm glad.

Here's why.

My lawyer is being paid to look at one aspect of my business--the aspect that is based in the legalities of my business operations and how I contract with others to offer services.

Period.

My lawyer isn't concerned--nor should she be--with client satisfaction, how I'll retain high-quality officiants, the prices I charge my clients or the level of services I offer. That's not her job.

But all of those things (plus a gazillion more!) are part of my job. So ultimately, my job is to juggle the demands of all of those areas and synthesize them into one happy functioning profit-making, couple-pleasing, quality-officiant-attracting wedding ceremony business. And when I remember that that is my role, I'm generally able to do just that. But when I lose sight of that and get overly fixated (or allow others to subtly pressure me into becoming overly fixated) on one aspect of the business, I flounder.

And yes, that is the same thing that can happen when one is planning a wedding. It's so easy to get sucked into the well-intended (and undoubtedly accurate) agendas and priorities of others. And before you know it, you're making yourself crazy trying to do everything exactly the way that your vendors say it needs to be done "in order to be perfect."

But sometimes, you need to settle for good enough.

Let me give you another example. Several years ago, I was working on improving my Google search engine results (Search Engine Optimization, or SEO for those of you who aren't into such things) and one of my goals was to better incorporate search keywords into the text of my website. I was working with a fabulous consultant to whom I attribute much of the success of my search engine rankings.

However, we came to friendly loggerheads on a couple of things. For example, because prospective clients often used the word "minister" in searching for our services (e.g. "Oregon wedding Minister"), my SEO consultant wanted me to work that word in frequently in the paragraphs of my website. But the problem is this--we don't consider ourselves to be ministers--in spite of the credentials that say we are such. The vast majority of our clients don't want us to bring an agenda of religion into their ceremony. If a couple wants a religious element, they are going to gravitate toward their clergy person or house of worship to perform their ceremony--not to an independent officiating service like ours.

Our role is to officiate a couple's wedding ceremony in whatever way they see fit. It's not to preach a doctrine or promote any religious philosophy. That's not who we are. So, working the word "minister," frequently into the website was going to be a tall order--other than to say "we're not traditional ministers" and how many times can that be stressed without sounding like overkill? (Answer: once)

I finally realized--as I was to realize again years later with my attorney--that my SEO consultant's role was equally narrow. His job was to get me on page one of Google. End of story. And if that meant putting the word "minister" into the text of our home page, then so be it.

But, again, my role is to look at the big picture. And the word minister just didn't fit with that picture, so it had to go. (Note: We're on Page 1 of Google for the primary key phrases anyway.)

And so it is with wedding planning. When you're planning a wedding, you have many priorities to count. You've got to think about your budget, your tastes, the number of people you want to be in attendance on your special day. You have to juggle your other life priorities while you're planning your wedding. You have to calculate how much time you have, how much DIY you want to do, and what matters most to you when it comes to the public display of your commitment.

On the other hand, there are others who have a say (or want to) in your wedding day who are only focused on one thing.

For example:

Your photographer may tell you she must have 90 minutes between ceremony and reception to get in all the necessary photos. Your photographer is not concerned with the fact that your guests need to be occupied and entertained during this period. That's not her job. Her job is give you fabulous photos.
The woman at the bridal dress shop may tell you that your off the shoulder dress should be fitted breath-squeezingly tight in order to look its best. Yes, it might make you a bit uncomfortable, but it's only for one day. Her role is to make sure you look fabulous in that dress.
The cake lady who tells you that "no one has carrot cake with chocolate frosting" isn't trying to be difficult. It's just that her sole focus is on making sure the cake looks and tastes good.
The venue staff who insist that the guests clear the room quickly after the ceremony so that they can covert the room over for your reception are primarily concerned that the food be hot and ready to be served in a timely manner.
The officiant who insists that the photographer stop shooting your pre-ceremony photos at least 30 minutes prior to the time you walk down the aisle isn't focusing (no pun intended) on the fact that you don't yet have a picture of you with Great Aunt Sally. He just wants to make sure that you're relaxed and collected when you say your vows.

I'm not trying to cast aspersions on any of the character types above. On the contrary, you want specialized pros as your vendors. (Don't even get me started on those "vendors" who think it's perfectly appropriate to perform several roles at a wedding. Trust me, a professional DJ is not going to be able to officiate your wedding as good as a professional officiant. But that's another blog post.)

Weddings have a lot of moving parts!

Most quality people with whom you work in the wedding planning process are being paid for their expertise for their piece of the pie only. Just as my lawyer doesn't need to think about my SEO efforts and my marketing consultant need not concern himself with the legalities involved in officiant contracting, neither do your florist and your photographer have to be concerned with the efforts of the other. All that matters is that it all comes together in one harmonious picture.

And that's where you come in--unless you're fortunate enough to have a wedding planner--and even then, you still have to make the bottom line decisions.

You are the overseer, the contractor, the conductor that sees the entire orchestra (as opposed to just the string section).

And it's important to keep this in mind when you're wedding planning. It is you who must take the distinct advice of each wedding vendor and synthesize it into the whole that works for you. Remember that when you're feeling overwhelmed by the "musts" of one vendor.

It's all about the big picture. So, while you should certainly listen to and respect the advice of your wedding service providers (that is what you're paying them for, after all), do remember that each of them has to be task-focused, while you need to be big-project-focused.

Or, to put it another way, don't get your knickers in a knot if you don't want to devote 90 minutes to post-ceremony/pre-reception photo-taking. You can cut it back if you want.

Come to think of it, maybe that's the definition of a true professional wedding vendor--one that gives you the resources you need to make one aspect of your wedding day "perfect," but who respects your opinion and acknowledges (as my attorney and SEO consultant did) that there are more pieces of the puzzle than theirs.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

The Magic of a Winter Wedding

2011-09-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

It's September and maybe the cooler days and nights are enticing you and your beloved to think about a late fall or winter wedding/commitment ceremony.

Let the church say, "Amen!"

I have a special place in my heart for winter weddings, being as Jeremy and I were married outside on a clear, crisp December day in Colorado. So, I'm admittedly biased.

But think about it--my personal prejudice aside, the possibilities and the benefits of a winter wedding are endless!

Among other things:

It's a less-busy time of year for most wedding vendors (with the exception of venues at holiday time, but I hear that may no longer be the case as companies forgo and downsize the idea of the annual Christmas bash). This may or may not translate into lowered costs to you, but at the very least, it will make it easier to score the date you want.
Think twinkly lights and candles on a cold winter night as you and your guests gather round to celebrate and share. Romantic, chique, intimate (and cheap!).
Getting married in front of a blazing fireplace as the snow falls gently outside. Hello!! Does it get any better than that?
Being married in the winter automatically labels you as adventurous of spirit, creative and fun.
You can have an ice sculpture with no fear of having it melt!
Imagine how fabulous you'll look in your faux fur wrap. Can't do that in July!
How much fun would it be to end the evening with a horse drawn carriage accompanied by jingle bells, a hot toddy, a blanket and each other? (I know the answer to this because I did it on my wedding day. Way fun, indeed.)
There are so many decorating options for winter themes--holly and red berries, blue and silver stars, winter white snowflakes, sophisticated black and white, branches with tiny white lights, pine cones, evergreen boughs. Endless possibilities.
Serving hot chocolate with your wedding cake is so rich! Add a drop of Bailey's or Jameson's for good measure.

Maybe it's just me, but I think there's something magical about winter--especially in places with snow. Snow's blanket forces us to slow down and get quiet. Cold weather sends us heading for the home and hearth, and what better environment to celebrate love and the beginnings of a life of commitment? It's like your own personal snow globe.

People avoid winter weddings because they fear bad weather will throw a monkey wrench into the planning. And that's a possibility. But then again, ask any June bride or groom whose wedding has been upset by hurricanes, tornadoes, flood, earthquake, thunderstorms or searing heat and they'll tell you that no season gives a guarantee. We're pretty much at the mercy of Mother Nature no matter when we say I do.

And Mother Nature can give us a spectacular backdrop in the winter months. Come to think of it, one of our officiants performed a ceremony in a homemade igloo once. I wish I had photos of that one, but I don't, so I'll need to leave it to your imagination.

So whether you picture a mountaintop elopement after which you both ski off into the sunset, a cozy gathering or your family around a roaring fire (or out in the snow!) or an elegant black tie reception for 200, don't rule out the winter months.

They can be positively magical!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #7 - Your photographer interferes with the ceremony

2011-08-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

If you've hired a professional, experienced photographer to shoot your wedding, you can probably skip this post. He or she will be savvy enough to be circumspect during your ceremony while still getting great pics. Of course, there might still be those amateur or photographer wannabees among your invited guests who simply must get that closeup of you two exchanging rings (and they've never quite figure out how to use their telephoto lens). The following tips apply to dealing with them as well.

And there are many couples who might forgo a pro in favor of a more budget-friendly amateur (a.k.a. your Uncle Charlie, the camera buff) or a deeply discounted Craig's List style photographer. For those of you, I offer some tips to make sure your photographer doesn't turn out to be more of a hindrance than a help.

I've worked with the best in the business and the worst of the amateurs, so I know from whence I speak. (I just love blogging--I get to use words in writing that I'd never use in a normal conversation!) I don't care how good the pictures turn out--if the guy snapping the photos interferes with the ceremony, he's a lousy photographer.

In any case--professional photographer or not--do not assume that he or she will intuitively know your personal tolerance level for ceremony intrusiveness. Every couple is different--some may view the ceremony as a necessary evil that must be tolerated in order to get to the party; for others, it's the main event of the day. Sure, your photographer should be asking you about your feelings on this, but better that you broach the subject than having it not come up at all.

So, before anything else, ask your photographer about their proposed positioning during the ceremony and be sure to share any boundary-crossing issues you might have. Things they should be aware o might include not blocking the view of guests during the ceremony, refraining from getting too close, spoiling the moment by loud noises from their cameras, etc.

If you're not 100% comfortable at the conclusion of this conversation, then express your wishes (and your concerns) to your officiant. Actually, before that--check with your officiant to see if he or she has any restrictions on photography at the ceremony. Most independent officiants will not--with the exception of blinding us with flash--but some traditional clergy members might even prohibit photos during the service. (Oftentimes, they will allow you to re-stage moments for photos after the real ceremony is over.)

So, after making sure you know the requirements, then discuss your thoughts with your officiant. He or she can then take a tactful moment prior to the start of the ceremony to let your photographer know what the limits are. (Once again--I want to point out that this is hardly ever an issue with a true professional photographer.)

And if you're really concerned, you must decide what to do--or have your officiant do--should the photographer cross that boundary line. In nearly ten years of performing cermeonies, I've only had this happen once. It was a wedding in a gazebo and the photographer (an amateur), came up around the back of the gazebo, then up behind me to shoot the exchange of rings over my left shoulder.

Ummmmm...I think not. Photographer was politely asked by yours truly to move his a$$ and accompanying photography equipment back to the the other side of the gazebo.

Geesh!

More than likely, scenarios like the above will not happen. But it's better to be safe. This is not one of those times where it's better to ask forgiveness than permission!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Some things simply shouldn't be delegated

2011-08-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

As a business owner, I understand the benefit of delegating. Without delegation, any project manager (and a "project" can be defined as anything from planning a wedding to running a business to managing a household) can easily become burned out and frustrated.

So, in Wedding Planning 101, just as in Running a Small Business 101, everyone in the know tells the engaged couple/business owner that they must delegate. Ergo, these choice bits of sageness:

A good officiant allows you to laugh during your ceremony!

These types of articles, along with my very own penning of 10 Ways to get your Fiance Involved in the Wedding Planning Process, all give excellent advice on how to hand over (at least partially) the reins to many aspects of the wedding planning. I highly encourage all brides and grooms to give them a read.

Many, however, does not mean all.

As the owner of a wedding officiating business, there are many tasks that I delegate. Follow-up phone calls, bookkeeping services, emailing officiant evaluations, and generating contracts are things I haven't personally conducted in years. Yep--I've got "people" for that.

But responding to client inquiries, designing marketing materials, establishing procedures and company policies, handling client problems? Those are mine--all mine. I wouldn't dream of having anyone else handling those types of things. They need my unique personal touch. It's what makes Lyssabeth's...well...Lyssabeth's.

So while I applaud the idea of wedding planning delegation, I'm here to tell you brides and grooms out there...

There are some things you just shouldn't delegate.

Period. Not at all. Don't do it. Not to your parents (even if they are paying the bill), your maid of honor or your wedding planner.

Some things require your own hands-on involvement--be it the music selection for your reception, the food you'll serve, the photographer in charge of preserving your wedding day memories or--and I say this from intimate personal experience--the person who will perform your ceremony.

I'm always taken aback when I receive an email inquiry along the lines of the following:

My son is getting married next month and he's asked me to help in the very important task of selecting a wedding officiant. How much do you charge and are you available on our date?

Okay, there is so much wrong with the above email, that it would take another entire blog post to cover everything. I'll just list them here:

The wedding is in a month and you don't have an officiant? Seriously? I bet you have a limo lined up, though. And those colorful Jordan almonds wrapped in tulle? And a cute little garter? Gerbera daisies for your bouquet?
Is price the only criteria upon which you're making this selection? If so, then we're not your best fit. Try Craig's List. The officiant might not show and they'll mumble through the service, but they will be cheap!
I don't know if there is an officiant available on your date, as you didn't give me the time or exact location of the ceremony (a common omission when parents are making the inquiry, for some reason).
And lastly, if it's such a "very important task," why aren't the bride and groom doing it themselves? Are they so busy with dress and tuxedo fittings that they can't procure the one "must-have" vendor for their big day?

Even if you aren't having a highly customized ceremony (sometimes short, sweet and traditional--not to mention budget-friendly--is the best fit) and even if you don't want to take the time to meet with your officiant beforehand, at least take the time to check out his or her website, reviews and make a quick phone call to see how their style feels to you.

A good couple/officiant fit can only be determined by the couple! Your mom can't decide this for you and your maid of honor--no matter how close a friend--can only guess as to whether your chemistry with the officiant will be positive.

Your officiant can make or break your ceremony, which in turn can make or break your entire wedding day. And the grandfatherly officiant who reminds your mother of her childhood parish priest might not be the person you have in mind to deliver your secular, nature-based, with a Wiccan ritual thrown in for good measure ceremony

Delegate the invitation-mailing, the seating chart, even the cake-tasting (like who would want to delegate that? Yum!) but don't farm out any task based on personal relationships with a vendor--especially the wedding officiant, whose personality is so key to infusing the best style for you and your ceremony.

In planning a wedding, much like in running a business, some things just have to be done by the one in charge.

And that's you.

Photo courtesy of Caroline Pippin, Photographer

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #6 - No one knows what to do when the ceremony is over

2011-07-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

It's probably an over dramatization to say that this slip could spoil your ceremony. But it could cause a wee bit of an awkwrd moment, and really, don't you deserve a wedding day that's totally free of awkward moments?

I grew up in Catholic-centric Rhode Island, so subsequently most weddings I attended before I hit the ripe old age of 30 (and moved away) were church weddings, complete with cookie-cutter ceremonies, traditional elements, and guests surreptitiously looking at their watches to calculate how much longer until the reception and wondering if anyone would notice if they slipped out during communion. Everyone knew what to expect and when the ceremony was over, by God, the guests got their butts out of the pews and hightailed it up the aisle after the last bridesmaid and groomsmen had left the building.

After all, that open-bar and all-you-can-eat buffet aren't going to come to them of their own accord, now--are they?

But with today's no-rules ceremonies, oftentimes guests are left wondering what they heck they are supposed to do after the recessional ends. When I began performing weddings in Colorado, I was surprised to learn that it was customary to have ushers return and actually dismiss the guests row by row. I'd never seen this practice before and I must say, I still think it a bit bizarre that guests must be summarily dismissed as though if left to their own devices, they would be incapable of leaving the ceremony site in an orderly manner.

Even when I went on to officiate weddings in other states, I still noticed a hesitancy on the part of guests to get up and move after the service ended. Perhaps it is because so many ceremonies (and especially the ones that independent officiants like me are asked to perform) are held in the same venue as the reception, so people aren't sure where to go next. Or maybe it's because the ceremonies I perform are so darn fabulous that guests are sitting there in such awe and amazement that they don't even realize that it's over? Hey--don't laugh; it's possible. Our ceremonies are that good!

Whatever the reason, it can definitely lead to some moments of weirdness when the happy couple is waiting somewhere behind the assemblage of guests, expecting well-deserved congratulatory hugs, kisses and effusive best wishes only to experience...

...crickets.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.

Embarrassing!

Fortunately, this is a problem easily fixed. If your officiant doesn't do so (and if you're dealing with an inexperienced officiant, they probably won't think of this), just be sure to tell your parents and any other people seated in the front two rows to get up and follow the last bridal party member up the aisle. Trust me, if your mom and dad, Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Joe get up and walk out, the rest of the guests will follow.

They don't want Uncle Joe eating all of the bacon-wrapped shrimp, after all.

Then, you'll be sure to get your fill of your guests' sincere expression of happiness for your bright married future.

I've married some couples who fear that this technique is too subtle to have an impact on their guests seated in rows 3 through ???, so they have had me make an announcement to "please exit up the aisle to congratulate the happy couple." Yes, this is an option, but it does feel a bit like you're giving instructions on how to evacuate in case of emergency, and it's generally unnecessary.

And if all else fails, if your guests just don't get up and begin to mosey toward you, you can always have someone call out that the bar is open.

But be ready for the stampede.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Lessons from Sister Eleanor

2011-07-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

A gazillion years ago, I spent my high school years singing in the advanced choral group at St. Mary's Academy for Girls. (Yep--you read that right.)

Anyway, I loved singing and I loved Sister Eleanor who directed our all-girl choir. Sister Eleanor had a beautiful voice of her own (unlike Sister Georgette, who taught the regular music classes and who, quite frankly, had a voice that sounded like a werewolf in pain...but I digress...).

Every year, we did a minimum of two concerts--one for Christmas and another in the spring, when our parents, classmates and other any member of the community who was really bored that day paid $1.00 for the privilege of listening to us belt out tunes ranging from Bridge Over Troubled Water to Handel's Hallelujah Chorus. (Sister Eleanor was nothing if not diverse in her musical selections.)

As composed as Sister Eleanor was, there inevitably came a time prior to each performance, when, fed up with our adolescent goofiness and lack of paying attention to the melodious task at hand, she would turn very red in the face and explode, "GIRLS! If you do NOT pay attention, I will cancel this concert. I am not one for stage performances!"

Sister's one-line fit was always enough to ground us all back in semi-soberness (I, for one, was afraid she might have a stroke!) and buckle down to our warbling.

I often think back on Sister Eleanora in my current career. So many couples (okay--brides) view their wedding day as little more than a stage performance. The grand entrance wearing a spectacular dress while dramatic music plays, the flowers decorating the stage, the ceremony programs, the speaking parts, the applause, the dance. Being the center of attention...queen for a day.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Yet I've come across a bride or two who, in my humble opinion, could really benefit from a Sister-Eleanor-like shriek. "This wedding of yours. It's more than a stage performance. It's the marriage! It's the rest of your LIFE! If you don't pay attention, you may as well cancel the show!"

Of course I, unlike Sister Eleanor, am not in a position where it would be appropriate to expostulate in such a manner. So, I keep my own counsel.

But here in my own little blog world, and because I'm speaking in generalities and not to one specific bride, I can speak freely. There are so many lessons to be learned from Sister Eleanor's words.

If your primary focus is on the stage performance aspect of your wedding, then you're in for a world of hurt down the road.
There's no shame in cancelling the show if you decide, mid-planning, that you're not ready.
Not everyone likes stage performances. That's okay--you don't have to be in one if you prefer not to be.
Sometimes having someone turn very red in the face and scream at you can be extremely effective--as long as they're timed right and not overused.

If one or any of the lessons above applies, then you have Sister Eleanor to thank.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

The Perfect Ceremony

2011-07-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

I performed a commitment ceremony yesterday where things went wrong. Not in my delivery of the ceremony (moi? au contraire!), but with a few other things.

The ceremony with nearly 100 guests was held on the Oregon coast. Under a tent. Yeah, that alone is a potential recipe for disaster, for it's often blustery and rainy. And while the day dawned sunny and calm, the wind did begin to pick up a bit by mid-morning.

And the road down to the beach (and I use that term lightly--it was more of a trail) while short, was a bit steep and rocky. I was thankful for the borrowed Suburban I was driving and had no problems (thank you to the car gods who did not let me bottom out while driving someone else's vehicle).

The caterer, however, did not fare as well and they got stuck. Forty five minutes later, they were bailed out by the tent guy. Yea tent guy!

Except that made the tents 45 minutes late in being erected. And then there were those winds. Okay...gusts.

You can see where this is going, right?

The brides were called. "We're running a bit late. No need to rush." All was taken in stride.

The brides came down to the beach anyway. To mingle. Who wants to miss all the fun on your wedding day?

I pitched in to help set up the chairs. Quickly. We were already 30 minutes behind schedule. The wind knocked over the bucket for the Bowl of Blessings. Sand spilled out onto the...well....sand. No worries. We scooped up the original stand, now co-mingled with genuine Oregon beach sand. I'm sure that was a metaphor for something, but I didn't have any time to ponder so I kept going.

The colored sand for the unity sand ceremony also blew over. Hmmmmm....not so easy to fix this one as all sands were a different color. We made do--thanks in part to replacement sand.

We requested a side be added to the tent to block the wind. The tent guy looked doubtful, then thoughtful. Then said, "Okay, but it might make this thing sail like a kite."

It was a tossup between sailing like a kite or being stuck in a sandstorm. We opted for the kite. How long to add the side?

Five minutes.

"Do it," said I. (No--I was not officially in charge of tent side-adding, but someone had to make a decision and my role is to give my clients a beautiful ceremony, so having a side to the tent seemed a necessity to achieve this end. I stepped up to the proverbial wedding plate.)

Side is added to tent. Wind abates inside tent. No kite flying today.

Ceremony starts. the aisle has been left too narrow due to excessive chairs and tent sides and one bride, being escorted by both her kids and her parents has to kind of sidle in sideways. No issues. Both brides make it to the front and hugs among brides, kids and parents are exchanged. Everyone looks truly joyful.

I speak. Ceremony is running smoothly. Guests are laughing when they're supposed to laugh. Brides are crying when they are supposed to cry. Vows are spoken. Rings are exchanged. Children are included. Parents are thanked. The sister of the bride sings a song. Actually, the sister sings a song one and a half times as the Ipod dies during the first rendition and she has to start over.

So, in the end, Drew and Rene were married. The practically sailed out of the tent afterwards to the strains of Walkin' on Sunshine.

And they were. Because a wedding ceremony generally reflects life. And life isn't always perfect. It's not rehearsed and it's certainly not always managed by professionals. And it throws you curve balls, which you can either dodge or catch. You can either freak out over them or laugh about them.

Yesterday, nobody freaked out. We caught some curve balls, we dodged a couple more and we laughed about them as we sent Drew and Renee forth into their new life together.

When I left, the guests were happily assembled under the tent. The wind had died down and the sun shining on the Pacific was breathtaking. The Ipod had been resuscitated and the kids were shrieking and laughing to the chicken dance. Drew and Renee were hand in hand and beaming. The sand castle cake was about to be cut.

It was in my mind, the epitome of perfection.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

The art of saying no

2011-06-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

Last week, I learned how to say "no".

This may come as a surprise to those who know me--especially my daughters, who heard "no" quite a bit as teenagers--and it is true that I have less difficulty than most people in setting boundaries for myself.

Ah, but when the "no" has the possibility to negatively affect another! Oh yes--therein lies the problem. So I said "yes" when I should have said "no".

Not good for anyone.

Not good for the client to whom I said yes. Said client would have been better off going with a full service (a.k.a. "we offer wedding packages") type of company as opposed to one like Lyssabeth's that focuses solely on officiating. Instead, said client attempted to bully us (in my humble opinion) into offering a service that we don't offer. And oh yes--said client wanted it for free and went about it "through the back door" by playing stupid, being cagey and pushing the envelope so far it slid off the table and onto the floor, across the room, out the door and down the street!

Not good for the officiant to whom I assigned the ceremony. The money earned was not worth the time and tension of dealing with the client who was not a good fit for our services.

Not good for my administrative staff, who spent copious time on the telephone with said client attempting to extricate them from problems that they themselves had created. Oh yes, no extra charge for this, either.

Not good for me. Unless biting my tongue, shaking my head over the audacity of certain people and gritting my teeth could be considered character-building exercises.

Not good for the other 50 or 60 couples with whom I was (supposed to be) working with during the time period that I was involved with above life-sucking couple. Too bad that the all-consuming attention I was forced to lavish on this couple had to come from other couples who would have benefited from it.

So, why, you may ask, would a competent, appropriate limit-setting successful businesswoman like myself even be tempted to take on such a toxic couple?

The short answer is I thought I was doing the best thing for everyone. Well... I take that back. I knew it wasn't the best thing for me, but like the little entrepreneurial trouper and borderline martyr that I am, I put my own needs aside and (pause for swelling violin crescendo) took it on the chin for the (misplaced) overall good of everyone else involved.

Yeah, Dr. Phil, how's that workin' for ya?

It's tough to alter a mindset, and my mindset since Day One of this business has been "give the couple what they want at a price that is fair." Then, around Day 612 (when I began to bring other officiants on to work for me) my secondary mindset was to provide said contracted officiants with a great work experience, along with a generous and fair part-time income.

Those two mindsets generally mesh well and 99.9% of the time, our go-the-extra-mile officiants perform creative and memorable wedding ceremonies for happy couples who respect our time and talent and are willing to compensate us fairly for our work. Bah da bing, bah da boom! File the marriage license and color everyone happy!

These dual mindsets are so engrained in me that I seldom see it coming when a not-the-best-fit-for-us couple (that's the politically correct term for "couple from hell") comes down the pike. I immediately go into my "give 'em what they want" mentality. And when doing that becomes difficult, I lapse into my "it's my role to ensure that the officiant receives the income they're due" mentality. "Who am I?" I reason, "to deny a couple--no matter how difficult--access to the best officiating services in the area? It's their wedding day, after all." And by the same token, "Who am I to decide that working with this couple isn't feasible and therefor turn away an income opportunity for my officiant?"

Who am I indeed?

So I said yes, when I should have said no. I said it with the best of intentions. And, to be fair, nothing catastrophic happened. The couple was married (none the wiser) in a beautiful beach ceremony. The officiant's hair will grow back over that bald spot in no time. A couple (or six) of scotch and sodas and the memory has all but faded for my administrative staff. And me? Well, I've survived divorce and parenthood, which tends to put most things in perspective.

Nonetheless, I really must not allow this to happen again. Other than Johnny Walker and Rogaine, no one benefits from this.

So, I've learned. I've even practiced. True story. I've said aloud, slowly and calmly and maybe even with a hint of my ancestral Irish lilt. "I don't think we are the best fit for what you're seeking." Then I moved on to, "I don't believe we can adequately meet your needs." Then, "our services are not a good match for you."

I'm going to stop there, before I spiral downward into "Hell, no! Take a hike!"

The problem with my problem is that it arises so infrequently. Yes, I heard how ridiculous that sounds. But the affable, respectful and nothing short of glorious nature of the vast majority of our clients means that my opportunity to practice my new-found no-saying skills are few and far between.

But I will practice them regardless. Ya never know!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

When your officiant has his own agenda

2011-06-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

When I first started officiating wedding ceremonies--way back in 2002, I was surprised when, in meeting with couples to plan their ceremony, many of them disclosed that they had been to other wedding ceremonies where the officiant had deviated from the agreed-upon ceremony script--usually to promulgate their personal religious agenda.

I heard story after story from couples whose friends had been blindsided during their supposedly secular ceremony, by an officiant who went off on a religious tangent (even resorting to some fire and brimstone tactics in a handful of cases) that was not written into the ceremony script.

Admittedly, most professional officiants ad lib from time to time. This is a good thing, especially when something unexpected happens during the ceremony. You don't want your celebrant standing there robotically reading the script if the flower girl pipes up with something cute or your doggie ring bearer begins to bark like he just spotted the postman. And if you flub your vows, a lighthearted quip from your officiant can work wonders. But to deliberately veer off-script solely for the purpose of....what? Ensuring that your atheistic souls don't burn in hell for eternity? Converting an unsuspecting guest or two to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior? (Not that the Christians have any monopoly on religious fervor--it's just my tongue-in-cheek example.) Placating your religious-minded parents (without your consent)? I, for one, am mystified by what they are hoping to achieve.

This whole concept discomfited me then as it does now. I think it's the ultimate act of betrayal toward a couple when an officiant promises that a couple's ceremony will be a reflection of their personal love and values, only to pull a fast one when the bride and groom are publicly and nervously standing before a multitude of their family and friends pledging their hearts to one another. I can't even imagine the chagrin of the couple standing there listening to their minister spew religious platitudes that at best make them uncomfortable and at worst are diametrically opposed to their own personal beliefs.

Only the most bold among us would have the fortitude to interrupt the officiant mid-Biblical rant and request that they return to the originally agreed-upon script and refrain from further references to a higher power for the remainder of the service. Most couples would grit their teeth and bear it, forever marring the memory of their special day.

Fortunately, this isn't the norm with professional wedding officiants. Most of us are in business to fill a niche for couples that want to create a personalized and memorable ceremony that is unique from the prescribed services of organized religion. However, this small frequency is of little comfort to the couple to whom it happens.

And for once, I don't have a list of tips to help you avoid this problem. I really don't. Certainly, you could reiterate to your officiant that you don't want a God-reference at all in your cermeony. You can certainly approve the ceremony script beforehand and reinforce that these are the exact words you want stated at the service, with only minor ad libbing that does not change the essence of the ceremony. But even doing those things is not a 100% guarantee that someone with an agenda won't slip in a line or two.

Mostly, you need to go with your gut. Also, read the online reviews of the officiant you choose. That should give you a hint as to their personal integrity and respect for client values. if they don't have reviews, it might just mean that they're new to the business (or have terrible marketing skills!)--it doesn't necessarily mean that they won't be a good fit for you. But I'd say "Buyer Beware" in this case.

And should the unthinkable happen to you, I'd encourage you not to take it lying down (or standing up, as the case may be). If you're not the type to speak out in public (don't feel badly--as I stated above, not many people would have the b@ll$ to call their officiant on the carpet during the ceremony). But after all is said and done, and you're back from your honeymoon, do the next couple a favor and make your unhappiness known to your officiant--either by direct communication with him or her, or by leaving a review on a site like Yelp or Wedding Wire or Google.

Whether or not you want God in attendance at your wedding ceremony is a personal choice. Your personal choice.

Make sure you've given the chance to exercise that right.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

The upside of not having a bride's side or a groom's side

2011-06-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

One piece of conventional wisdom that you might want to question is the idea of "Bride's side/Groom's side" when it comes to seating at your wedding ceremony. This is an antiquated idea whose time may have come and gone. And as a side note, whenever I hear the expression, "Are you on the Bride's side or the Groom's side?" all I can think of is that line in the Wizard of Oz where Glenda the Good Witch of the North asks Dorothy, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" And of course, the answer of "But I'm not a witch at all," could be adapted for the "whose side are you on?" question as well.

But I digress.

Back in the days of old, this practice made sense. The bride and groom generally lived at home prior to the wedding. Bride had her gal pals and Groom had his guy friends. The marriage was truly a first-time coming together of the two families and separate sets of friends. They may not have even met one another prior to the rehearsal.

Now, however, with most couples living together before marriage, the lines between "Bride's side/Groom's side" are definitely blurred. Bride and Groom have other couples who are joint friends. Parents of bride and Groom may have been getting together for years of joint family celebrations prior to the wedding day.

Bride and Groom may even have a child or children together. Seating their guests separately as though they "belong" to one or the other of the ceremony participants is a bit ludicrous in this day and age. Throw in the fact that the numbers inevitably don't match and Bride and Groom are likely to have three rows of people on one side and fifteen on the other.

So, you might want to think about doing away with the idea of separating your guests in this manner. Simply allow your guests to sit where they choose (have the first couple of rows reserved for parents and other close family members if you wish) and you'll find that everything will even out.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #5 Your ceremony music stops and starts at the wrong time

2011-06-07T06:07:00.000-07:00

Wait for it...wait for it...

Picture this. The music starts. The officiant has everyone stand. Exactly on cue, you glide down the aisle on your father's arm. Your hair and makeup are stunning, your bouquet held at a perfect angle. You reach the front, kiss Dad good-bye, take your about-to-be husband's hand and face your officiant.

There's a pause in the action as the music continues to play...

And the music keeps playing...

And playing...

You glance at the officiant. "Is this music going on for an awfully long time, or am I just nervous?" you wonder.

You look over at your sweetie, who is beginning to look like he could throttle the DJ (organist, string quartet, harpist, cousin Phil on his Ipod--whomever is responsible for playing the Song that Never Ends.)

And still, the music plays on...

Your guests begin to shuffle their feet...

"Make it Stop!" you silently beseech the heavens.

A baby cries...

Your stomach rumbles. You realize that in all the excitement, you forgot to eat...

This is so not the shining moment you envisioned.

The officiant tries to give your music person a subtle cue to stop playing. But he/she/they is/are too engrossed in what they are doing. The officiant ends up looking like a cross between a mime and someone with Tourette's.

To no avail, for the music plays on.

There is no choice but to endure it all until the song ends. By then, your guests are so fidgety that all they can think about is the party. As you murmur your vows, most of them are thinking, "I hope it's an open bar."

Welcome to Ceremony Slip-up $5.

It's a simple one to avoid, really. All it takes is a bit of communication between your officiant and your musician, but amateurs often overlook it, resulting in a scenario not unlike the one above. It's best to take things into your own hands and spend a minute or two pre-ceremony to confirm the following:

How long is your entrance relative to the length of your processional song? If the song is more than 15-20 seconds longer than your walk time, then consider entering later in the song (a wait of up to a minute is fine--it builds anticipation and allows you to make a really excellent entrance). Alternatively, you can have the song fade shortly after you arrive at the altar. To do this, you need to make sure that the musician can see you or the officiant or someone who can see them, who can give the musician the high sign to cut it off.

What songs are to be played and exactly when will they be played during the ceremony? Makes sure the musician knows his cue to play them.
What are the last words your officiant will say before your recessional song plays? Will the music begin as you are kissing? Or will the officiant introduce you as Mr. and Mrs. before you swoop off? There's nothing worse that having the officiant bellow out your names over the recessional music, so make sure your musician knows to "hold their peace" (or should I say "piece?") until the appropriate moment.

When it comes to your ceremony music, a little coordination can go a long way!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Why do we feel the need to apologize for what we want?

2011-06-02T06:16:00.000-07:00

Do it your own way!

Because we're independent wedding officiants, we tend to get a lot of requests that don't fit the traditional church wedding mold. That's a good thing--it keeps the day interesting.

But I'm always surprised (and sometimes a little uncomfortable) by the apologetic and often embarrassed tone of the bride (it's usually the bride--but sometimes the groom) when they express what they're looking for in their wedding ceremony.

I know this is kinda weird, but we want to get married outdoors in a gazebo. (Sista, you think that's weird?! You oughtta hear the crazy requests I get.)

Sorry for the last minute notice, but is it possible to have an officiant perform a ceremony on the beach for just the two of us next month?

We're really simple people and don't like being the center of attention (said with an air of apology); I'm sorry, but we really don't want an elaborate, drawn-out ceremony. Is that okay?

Our situation is a bit unique, we've been together for 12 years and are just now getting married. We have two kids together. (Trust me, this is not unique.)

While we're always able to accommodate the above not-so-unusual requests, there is a part of me that wants to take these couples under my wing and tell them...Aw, heck, I'll tell you all right here, right now.

Banish the words "should," "supposed to," and "must" from your wedding planning vocabulary!

How much easier would planning a wedding be if we didn't have to worry about the shoulds, supposed to's and musts. It might even be--GASP--fun!!!
And of course the next logical step would be to give the heave-ho to all the shoulds, supposed to's and musts of our friends, families, the wedding media and the assortment of wedding vendors encountered along the way.

There's nothing you have to do (oh yeah, add that phrase to the list as well) in order to be married. Well, there are a couple of things; you have to have someone to marry and you have to have a license if you want to do it legally. And in most states, you have to have an officially credentialed wedding officiant to make it all legal-like, But that's it. You don't have to have a white dress, rings, a church, a minister or a wrist corsage for your mom.

I've done scores of weddings without the above. Trust me, there really are no musts. And that goes for any current trends as well. The DIY craze comes to mind. You don't have to spend three consecutive weekends crafting unique ceremony programs if that's not your thing. Seriously, it's okay. Put down the paper punch and go out and play.

You don't have to lose weight for your wedding, walk down an aisle, invite your parents (with my apologies to mothers everywhere), get married in a church (with my apologies to clergy), or mail invitations complete with two envelopes, an RSVP card and that little piece of tissue paper that no one knows what to do with.

You can be married on a ski slope (like our fun-loving couple above), in a hot air balloon, under a Chuppah (even if you're not Jewish), in your backyard or perched atop a boulder on your favorite hiking trail.

So you have my permission (like you need it) to stop feeling the need to apologize for what you want. And if a wedding vendor makes you feel like you should apologize then hit the NEXT button and move on.

Life's too short for shoulds, supposed to's and musts.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Memorial Day--a day for remembering

2011-05-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

Bethany and Jason May 30, 2004

Today is Memorial Day--the official start of summer--although if you look at the numbers of weddings we've been performing this year, one would say that the real start of the summer wedding season was more like April 15th.

It's also the day that we honor those who have served our country in the armed forces. So, if there is a military person in your life, give 'em a hug today.

Today is my daughter Bethany's seventh wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary, Bethany and Jason!

Memorial Day can also be a time of remembering. This weekend being the popular time that it is for weddings, it lends itself to being a time for reflecting on weddings. For those of us who are married, the memories of our wedding day can be sweet ones that we linger over from time time time throughout the years. Whether our wedding was intimate or on a grand scale, every once in a while, we take a moment to recall the day.

And smile.

So, this one goes out to all our married readers. On this Memorial Day, take a moment to remember that special day in your life--be it one month ago or 50 years past.

And smile.

And if you're fortunate to still be happy and thriving with that person with whom you exchanged vows on that special day, then consider yourself very, very blessed.

Happy Memorial Day.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Dealing with Your Family’s Reaction to your Elopement

2011-05-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

One reason that some couples hesitate to consider an intimate “just us” ceremony is because they fear hurting the feelings of unincluded family members. There’s not much benefit—and potentially quite a bit of harm--from swapping pre-wedding day stress for post-wedding day stress. At least the former has an ending date; the latter could go on indefinitely!

You can’t control how your family will feel and react in response to your desire to elope, but there are a few things you can do to minimize the impact—both on your family members and subsequently on yourselves.

Be sure you, yourself, are comfortable with the idea of eloping. A few doubts—even a twinge or two—is perfectly normal when going this route. But if you’re having major reservations about your decision to marry alone or with a miniscule group present, then your gut is trying to tell you something. Get it worked out in your own mind before trying to convince your uninvited family members that it’s a great idea.

Hinging on #1. Be sure you understand the reason(s) why you want to elope. The clearer you are in your own head, the more persuasive you can be when confronted with an angry parent or adult child. Is it for financial reasons? A need to keep things simple? Does it just sound wonderfully romantic? Do you want to avoid the whole crazy family scene? Are you pregnant (yes—shotgun weddings still exist)? Have you been together so long that it’s just a formality, so no need for a big fuss? Is it a green card wedding? (Oh wait—scratch that—those are illegal). All humor aside, be clear with yourselves and others on why you want to do (or have already done) this. Don’t offer excuses; offer reasons.

Think about things you can do to mitigate the blow. Have lots of photos taken at your elopement ceremony; maybe have a video made. Have a celebration dinner (big or small) to celebrate your marriage after you arrive home.

Consider the timing. Do you want to tell them before or after it’s a done deal? There are pros and cons to each and you know your family best. Determine beforehand if it’s better to ask permission or forgiveness.

Remember, it’s all in the presentation. When you break the news, be it before or after the ceremony has taken place, be sensitive to how you present it. In your eagerness to avoid conflict, you may come across as callous, cavalier, or blasé about your family’s feelings. Acknowledge that this might not be good news for them, validate their feelings, and be thoughtful in your approach. This doesn’t mean you should grovel or apologize—only that your tone and the words you use should reflect caring. Practice out loud beforehand if need be.

Explain, but don’t justify. Going hand in hand with #5, remember that giving an explanation of your actions and motivations does not mean you have to get them to understand your decision. You do not need anyone’s forgiveness. You hope, of course, that your decision will be accepted—embraced even (in the best of all fantasies), but if the outcome falls far short of this desire, then simply acknowledge their hurt feelings and move on. You can’t own other people’s feelings.

Plan to be surprised by people’s reactions. It never fails—the one you expect to be calm will freak out and the one you expect to have kittens when they hear the news will be as cool as a cucumber. Expect the unexpected.

And last but not least, once you have done all that you can, accept that it is your life, your wedding and your marriage. The relationship you have with each other is the cornerstone of your happiness and the distressed reactions of others, while sometimes posing a challenge, cannot rock your world unless you allow it to. Remember, too, that most negative reactions will not last long. I virtually guarantee that by your first anniversary, everyone will be smiling!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #4 Bungling the bouquet hand-off

2011-05-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

It sounds like such a little thing. How hard can it be for a bride to get rid of her bouquet for the ceremony and have it handed back to her at the end?

Pretty hard, based on the ceremonies I've seen (and I've seen quite a few!).

Get ready for the hand-off!

You come down the aisle; everybody and their brother is staring at you. Unless you're a total ham, you're a bit nervous. You see your Sweetie at the front. Wowza! He looks goooood. Your dad is kissing you goodbye; your maid of honor is fluffing your dress; your about to be hubby is reaching for your hand...

Ahhhhh!!! What do I do with these freaking flowers?????

Here's a procedure from an insider. (And another reason to work with a professional wedding officiant for your ceremony.)

Kiss Daddy serenely goodbye. Make sure he knows to walk behind you (careful of the train, Dad) to get to his seat.
Hold the bouquet in your left hand. (This will be natural, as your right hand would have been tucked into Dad's arm.)
Reach out with your right (unoccupied) hand to join hands with your Sweetie (his left hand will hod your right hand as you face the officiant).
Hand your bouquet (in your left hand, remember?) to your officiant. Yes--to your officiant. He or she will know what to do with it and believe me, they won't be as nervous as your maid of honor who is trying to juggle her own flowers while she fusses about making sure your dress looks perfect.
Professional officiants are wizzes at juggling, so don't worry about it. I generally hang on to the bride's bouquet while I'm informally welcoming the guests. Then, I hand it back to the MOH after she's done fixing the dress. Alternatively, I place it on a table/altar or even gently on the ground or floor if that's the only option.
At the end of the ceremony, you presumably want your bouquet back, correct? Don't rely on your MOH to remember to do this. 75% of the time, she will forget and you'll stride back up the aisle sans flowers. Your officiant will remember to give it back to you.

There you have it--a smooth-as-silk surefire way to hand off the bouquet.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Sometimes there's just too much to choose!

2011-05-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

When I started this business in 2002, I did so because there was an appalling lack of choice when it came to wedding ceremonies.

Back then, options for a couple included:
1. Traditional boring beige religious ceremony in a church--often accompanied by mandatory pre-marital counseling
2. Depressing boring civil ceremony in a judge's chambers
3. Overpriced custom ceremony "personally designed for you" because it's "your wedding, your way." (If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that nauseating expression, I'd be a millionaire.)

Not that there weren't some independent officiants offering creative and reasonably priced options. There were a few. But their forte was in marrying people, not in marketing, so finding out about them was quite the chore.

I wanted to offer couples the opportunity to have a beautifully personalized ceremony, performed by a professional public speaker, at a price that was fair to all. And I made sure that I was accessible. In short, lots of options, an open book on creativity, as much God (or not) as a couple wanted in their service and all kinds of advice on how to include as much as possible into one's wedding ceremony.

In short, the more choices, the better. My job was to pull it all together and make it flow.

But a funny thing happened for many couples on the way to the altar. I think life overall--let along a life devoted to wedding planning--got too complicated. I'd sit down with a couple and after listening to them talk excitedly about their wedding, I'd pull out the options. Those glorious options of unity this and unity that and words of thanks to their parents and a rose ceremony to symbolize their love, the drinking of wine, the breaking of bread, the blessing of stones. Salt, sand, water, fire, his kids, her kids, their yet-to-be-born kids, memorials to deceased family members, step parents, biological parents, divorced parents, transgendered parents, glass-stomping, broom-jumping, hand-fasting, Bible reading. You name it, we had a way to include it in the ceremony.

I inevitably saw the deer in the headlights look on nearly every couple's face.

It's the phenomenon that Barry Schwartz refers to in his book The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less His premise is that we are faced with an overwhelming variety of everything in our day to day lives. (Now that's the understatement of the year!) Of course, each offering requires us to choose. This need to choose from an ever widening array of options often results in a paralysis that debilitates us rather than liberates us. He states that the plethora of choices we face causes us to "invest time, energy, and no small amount of self-doubt, and dread" as we are incessantly bombarded with choices.

I get that; it happens to me in my own life. Add in the stress of having to pull off a "perfect" once in a lifetime day and the stress on brides and grooms is staggering. Couples have to choose from an overwhelming number of options on everything from their cake flavor to their flower types to to who will do the reading at their ceremony.

Sometimes it's just too much to wade through.

Sometimes, limiting one's choices can be a very good thing. So, a few years back, I began offering a "short and sweet" pre-written (for the most part noncustomized) ceremony option. My initial motive was to offer a lower-priced alternative for couples with a smaller budget. And that it does. But more and more, I see couples booking this ceremony level--not necessarily because it's less expensive, but because it cuts back on the need to choose.

In short, it offers them something beautiful and ready-made. What a relief!

Simplicity is a beautiful thing, it seems.

Sure, many couples want the bells and whistles custom ceremony. We still offer that option. But many couples prefer the lower key option of having it all pre-done for them.

I have to say--I like it. Designing a custom ceremony is lots of fun and we officiants get to exercise our creative juices. But there's also something deeply moving about reciting the words to a simple and lovely ceremony, knowing that a couple choose the words you wrote to express their heartfelt love.

Simply beautiful.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Why your married name might be Mrs. Jones (even if it's not)

2011-05-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

I just watched the most fascinating movie. The Jones, starring Demi More and David Duchovny, is about an upscale, seemingly perfect family with the prerequisite huge house, two perfect kids (a boy and a girl of course), and all the toys and gizmos any soccer-Mom-lovin' family could ever desire. Dad golfs, Mom gets pedis and manis, Junior rides the newest skateboard and Princess uses the best makeup EVER.

Except it's all a sham. These four people are not even related to one another, but rather they are a team of stealth markets, planted in the community by the businesses they represent, to subtly (and not so subtly) effect the buying habits of their neighbors. The "unit" as the foursome is called, is evaluated by the increase in sales in the community for the products they represent. Nothing is off limits; the food they eat (and flaunt at their upscale house party), Dad's golf clubs and riding mower, their home furnishings, cars, makeup, and of course the electronics. Always the electronics.

The Jones are the family we're all supposed to aspire to be, and their neighbors don't disappoint in that regard. They're like a bunch of sheep, blindly following the pretty couple on the block.

Of course, disaster ensues.

I won't spoil the plot for you--go see it. But the tag line of the movie is revealing.

Can you keep up?

While this movie had some comedic moments, I mostly found it chilling--in a makes you think kind of way, not in a Freddy Krueger kind of way. And of course, it didn't take my mind long to make the leap to how the movie applies to the wedding industry and brides.

Can you keep up?

The insidious part that hit home for me is that consumers aren't even aware of how they're being marketed to. Gone are the days of the pushy Fuller Brush salesman and door to door encyclopedia-pushers. Avon ladies don't ring your doorbell any more, as Avon markets and sells its products in vastly different ways now than it did in the 70s. Spam filters keep most of the junk out of our inbox. Pop-up ads are blocked. Even TV commercials have gone the way of the dinosaur in our Tivo-lovin' land.

Today's consumers are supposedly more savvy, so the techniques employed by marketers have had to become equally as sophisticated. Planting the idea that one has to keep up with the Jones has to be done (as quote the Wicked Witch of the West) d-e-l-i-c-a-t-e-y.

Throw in the pressure of a once-in-a-lifetime event like a wedding and brides are ripe for the marketer's plucking.

Did you ever stop to think how your wedding-planning purchases are influenced? Let me ask you a few questions to get your thoughts rolling on this matter:

How may overweight brides do you see modeling dresses in those magazines?
How many times have you heard the statistic that the typical U.S. wedding cost over $25,000?
What will your friends say if you tell them you plan to elope?
Is it a "real" wedding without an expensive dress, 100 guests and a monogrammed cake topper?
Is it possible to plan a lovely wedding in under three months?
If you have friends getting married around the same time as you, is there a competitive edge to your wedding planning (spoken or unspoken)?

Can you keep up?

I'm not saying that marketing is a bad thing. We all have to eat and buying and selling is the way of the world. I'm just cautioning you to be aware. Stop to think about the decisions you make and ask yourself just how much you're being influenced by others. Have a handle on your own wishes, priorities, values and budget (oh yeah--the b-word that no one wants you to think about) before you enter into the world of bridal magazines, YouTube videos and cake tastings. That way, you'll be batter armed against the onslaught of wedding vendors seeking to convince you that their services are "must haves" for you and your big day. Heck, even the term "big day" is a marketing ploy!

That way, if you buy a $10,000 photography package (complete with coffee table album that you will dust for the next five years, then put away never to be seen again when your toddler begins to put his sticky fingers all over it) you will know at least, that the photos were your priority and want and not purchased because someone convinced you it was a must-have.

The only must-haves are you, him, a marriage license and an officiant. (And in some states, you don't even need the officiant.) Everything else is extra.

And it's every bride's choice to have all the extras if she wishes. Just make sure that by the time it's all over, you remain true to who you are and not Mrs. Jones.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Get your wedding vendors to do anything you want!

2011-05-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

This is the blog post that is going to let you in on some insider secrets for getting topnotch performance from your wedding vendors.

As a bride with stars in her eyes about your wedding day, you probably think that all of your reputable professional vendors (and that is the only type you should be dealing with) are eager to fall all over themselves to give you the wedding day of your dreams. That's true, to a point. Any wedding service provider that wants to stay in business for the long haul will acknowledge that it's his or her brides and grooms that pay the bills, so said Bs and Gs had better be treated with the respect they deserve.

But all brides and groom are not created equal, and just as each couple has a vision of their perfect wedding day, so too does every wedding vendor have a mental image of their ideal customer. And let's face it, the closer a couple comes to fitting in with that image with a particular vendor, the more enthusiastic and creative that vendor's energy with that couple is going to be. It's simply human nature to want to go above and beyond for those couples with whom a vendor clicks.

And that doesn't necessarily mean that only couples with tons of money to spend will fit the mold. Au contraire! It's more about behavior than money. In fact, in my own personal experience, couples who simply throw money at their wedding often lack imagination, so this type of couple actually doesn't fit my perfect couple fantasy.

So who does?

Okay, I'll end your suspense. Here is a purely subjective list (but I don't think I'm too far off the mark in saying the majority of these will apply to most of your vendors) of things that will virtually guarantee you a better client/vendor fit--and therefore better service.

Before you hire us:

Give us adequate information so we can assist you in the best possible way. Don't submit a blank inquiry form and expect us to know what you want. Don't leave us a voice message that simply says, "I'm Rhonda, call me at 555-555-5555." Are you looking for availability? A price quote? How can we help you? Your relationship with a vendor starts from the moment you inquire about our services, so throw us a bone and tell us a little about what you want right from the get-go. Use your words. And while I'm on the subject of words--leave a voice message that is easy to decipher. If you rush and mumble, we can't catch most of what you say. If you leave us a phone number without an area code, it's difficult to call you back. Make it possible for us to give you what you want.

When you inquire about services, don't make your only question be about price. We know you're on a budget and that cost is a factor. We know you'll want to get a quote before committing. But when the first and only words out of your mouth (or typed from your hand) are about money, it tells the vendor that you don't give a rat's patootie about quality. Asking about money right off the bat is like asking about the salary as the first question in a job interview; it shows a single-mindedness that is unappealing--not to mention it's a total lack of class. If that's your first question, don't expect a vendor to fall all over themselves trying to get your business. They'd rather do that for someone who respects their expertise and talent.

As a corollary to the above, don't even think about asking a vendor to match another vendor's pricing. We are not Walmart. We also know that more often than not, you are making up the alleged other vendor and their phony pricing. We know our competitors and what they charge, so you're not exactly revealing any state secrets. And most wedding vendors are not apples to apples kind of service providers, so asking one to match the price of another might be like asking the clerk at Tiffanys to match the price of the guy selling watches out of the back of his car.

If you can stand one more tip on the subject of money, here it is. Be open and honest with your prospective vendor about your budget and see what, if any, level of service they offer that fits in with your budget. Don't expect a professional wedding vendor to dicker with you. We are not the flea market. When you tell a vendor their price is too high, you are in effect telling him or her that their services are not worth the money they are charging. Rather, tell them that their stated pricing is above your allocated budget amount and ask if they offer anything in your price range. Be prepared to give up some things if you are asking to pay less. Don't expect Champagne services on your beer budget.

Even if these days of free everything, don't expect that a vendor is going to give away the farm before you become their client. Sure you have a right to have your questions answered and you certainly want some evidence of a vendor's work before you sign on the dotted line and fork over ~~your parents’~~ your hard-earned money. And giving out free samples and/or tidbits of advice is a great marketing tactic employed by many vendors. But don't expect to milk the cow dry without shelling out some bucks. Most wedding professionals do what we do not only because we love it, but because it puts food on our tables. We can't spend hours giving you advice about the perfect venue, make you mock ups of all of your wedding day floral arrangements, give you free engagement photos and allow you to have several test runs of your hair and makeup for free. If you're our client, then we'll talk! If you're Freddy the Freeloader, trying to get tips so you can DIY our services, then get some integrity and move on!

Once you retain our services:

Pay attention to your wedding vendor's suggestions. I'm not saying that the vendor should call all the shots. But there's something to be said for experience--that's why you're hiring a pro in the first place, is it not? So, while it's your wedding day, remember that it's the wedding vendor's profession. Combining the vendor's expertise with your vision is what will make your wedding day memorable. You might think it would be delightful to have 400 family photos taken in the broiling sun. Your photographer may know from experience that an alternative arrangement will make you happier in the long run. While the final decision is always yours, you owe it to yourself to gather all pertinent information before you make a choice. Your vendors are valuable resources. Use them.

Be responsible and organized and don't expect your vendors to spoon-feed you. Yes, we are being paid to serve. But we're not doing our best work for you if we have to email you the same information several times because you accidentally deleted it. And most of us have a wedding FAQ page for a reason. If you have a basic question, check that page first. It might give you the answer you're seeking faster than if we play phone tag for two days. And speaking of that, if your schedule is tight, then give us a best time to reach you when you leave us a voice message. We'd rather catch you at a good time to talk then leave endless messages that don't help you. If we email you a contract and tell you we need it signed and returned within 48 hours, don't send it back two weeks later and then get upset when your date is no longer available. Do your homework.

Don't change the rules mid-game. If you do change the rules, realize that there may be a delay of game penalty. If you change your date, time and/or location, that throws a curve ball at your vendors. Schedules might have to be juggled, mileage and time may have to be added, other commitments might interfere. It might not even be possible for your vendor to accommodate you. And don't try to add additional services in through the back door--hoping your vendor won't notice (and therefore not charge you). If you pay for a two-person elopement on the beach, don't show up with 25 of your closest friends, a flower girl, a string quartet and an arch. It knocks you into an entirely different service category.

Make your payments on time. You made an agreement to pay certain amounts to your vendor at certain times. Don't make us chase you for money. It diverts our energy from the delivery of our services if we have to play loan shark. It also sets up a really uncomfortable dynamic that can only diminish the level of service you receive. If you've over-extended yourself, then let your vendor know. Most will work with you as long as you are sincere and reasonable in your efforts to make payment. Don't hide from us because you can't pay on time.

Give us the tools we need to complete our jobs professionally and up to your standards. The vendor/couple relationship is a two-way street and we need each other to make your wedding day all that you envision. If your officiant says she needs your wording choices emailed to her a month before the wedding date, don't drop them into her inbox the night before the ceremony and expect that the script will flow smoothly. If you want a ton of photos to cherish after your wedding, then make sure you allow your photographer enough time to get them taken. If you have 200 people at your outdoor wedding by a babbling brook and opt to forgo the expense of renting a microphone for the officiant, then your guests aren't going to hear your vows. If you have a harpist playing your music, plan to have covering for her and her instrument in case of rain. Otherwise, she won't be able to play.

Don't be a Bridezilla (or a Groomzilla). In order for a successful culmination of your wedding day dreams, you must realize that respect must be mutual and that the client/vendor relationship is interdependent.

So there you have it. Your very own insider tips on how to elicit the best possible response from your vendors. You don't have to do it this way--it's your wedding day after all, so it's always your call. But if you're looking for a smooth ride down Wedding Planning Road, you might want to give them a try.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #3 The Fidgety Flower girl

2011-04-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, the only reason we have little kids in our ceremonies is for the cute affect. Three year old Lilly Mae doesn't even know why she's being asked to prance down the aisle tossing flower petals on the ground and the adorable nephew in the too-big mini tuxedo is more interested in tossing the ring bearer pillow at his older brother than he is in carrying it serenely down the aisle.

Ah, children. The only things more unpredictable at a wedding are animals. No...strike that. Children can be way more of a loose cannon than Fido.

Consider the case of the wedding party with four--count 'em f-o-u-r flower girls at an upscale hotel. The ceremony was held on the rooftop deck at one end of the swimming pool. (Yes, you can see where this is going to end up, don't you?) Each adorable child seriously made her way around the pool and down the petal-strewn aisle.

Until Adele.

Four year old Adele, like the others, was wearing a tiny crown of miniature roses and babies breath. Unfortunately, it wasn't tiny enough. As she began her walk, the crown started to slip perilously over her forehead. When it hit her eyes, Adele simply tilted her head upwards so she could see, vaguely reminiscent of someone playing pin the tail on the donkey, only with a basket of petals as opposed to a tail in her outstretched hand.

As little Adele teetered blindly at the edge of the pool, Dad made a valiant attempt to get to the child before she went ass over teakettle into the blue water. Fortunately, he made it in time, but not before there was a collective intake of breath from the audience precipitated by a shriek from the child's mother.

Yep--it was a bit of a heart-stopper for a few moments. Luckily, the officiant (that would be yours truly) was able to make a lighthearted comment at the start of the ceremony about the near-miss and all went smoothly after that (although the bride must have been a bit confused about my comment as, being in pre-walk-down-the-aisle seclusion with her dad, she missed the entire episode--trust me, this was a good thing).

So, as cute as the little darlings are, children can contribute to both small mishaps as well as full scale ceremony catastrophes if you don't use some common sense.

Here are some tips:

Consider the age and temperament of the child before having him or her in your wedding party. A scared and screaming two year old does NOT lend anything adorable to your wedding. It puts the child under needless pressure and stresses out your guests, who must witness the episode.
And speaking of age and temperament, do NOT give the real rings to a ring bearer under six years of age (maybe eight). Give them some fake rings and then you can relax if the pillow goes sailing.
Have a pitcher and a catcher for small kids who will be walking down the aisle. A familiar adult to start them off and another one to coax them down the aisle will work miracles.
If you must include very young ones, consider having an older child or the maid of honor push them in a stroller or pull them in a wagon. Still adorable, but easier and safer for all.
Don't have the children stand up front during the ceremony, but rather have them be seated with family members in the "audience" after they finish their part of the processional. There's nothing better (or worse) than a fidgety child to take the focus off the bride, the groom and the vows. Let them have a seat and even better, have some quiet toys waiting for them to keep them occupied for the duration of the ceremony.
Most important, don't expect perfection from children. Don't stress if they don't perform up to expectations. If you're the bride that needs a picture-perfect ceremony, then it's best to refrain from having kids in the wedding party at all.

And, oh yeah--make sure their crowns of roses are the right size. Or else, stick a life jacket on them!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Meet Vegas' Ugly Cousin, Reno

2011-04-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

Faithful readers of my blog know that I poke fun at Las Vegas as the all-time cheesiest place to get married. However, I found an ever worse location, and it's just down the street (sorta) from the Elvis wedding capital of the world.

Enter Reno, Nevada, where I stayed for two night recently on a road trip from Portland to Denver. While not as well known for cheesy weddings as Vegas, have no fear. There is no shortage of wedding tackiness in this town.

Sandwiched among casinos, homeless shelters and pawn shops, one can find several establishments where the knot can be legally--if not tastefully tied.

My personal favorite were these two "chapels"--Weddings by the Reno Tattoo Company and the Arch of Reno. Ya gotta love it. You can get your body permanently adorned with a memento of your nuptials--all in the same place!

Come to think of it--who needs gold rings? Simply tattoo a circle around the ring finger of your left hand. Just pray that the marriage lasts forever, because the ring will.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #2 - No One Can Hear

2011-03-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

To mic, or not to mic, that is the question.

The answer is simple. If you're not sure--use a microphone.

After all the trouble you went through to put together the perfect wedding ceremony--the ideal programs, the unity candle engraved with your new initials, the touching tribute to your parents, the personalized vows--what good is all of that if your guests can't hear? Then all you have is a bunch of fidgety people waiting for cocktails to be served.

If your wedding ceremony has more than 50 people or so, don't even think about not using a microphone. (Yeah, that was a double negative.) Also, consider other factors such as background noise (a rushing stream, traffic noise) and the configuration of your seating. Rows spread our wide as opposed to long and narrow will mean folks will hear better. And consider that although your professional officiant will project their voice adequately, your (probably nervous) bride-voice won't throw nearly as far. The officiant might wear the mic, but your voices will be picked up as well.

Mics can be obtained from the ceremony venue or the officiant but most often they are provided by whomever is doing the music for the ceremony. Check with your vendors to see if they provide a microphone for the officiant and if so, what the additional cost might be. This is not something you want to cheap out on.

And speaking of cheap, the type and quality of the microphone makes all the difference. As an officiant, I've had microphones so lousy that I've tossed them aside halfway through the ceremony and simply projected my voice so that the last row could hear, as opposed to having guests subjected to the squealing and whining of the POS mic that had been given to me. A lapel mic is easier for your officiant to use than a hand-held one, but it can be done, so if that's all that is offered, take it. On the other hand, having a four foot black microphone stand plopped squarely in the center of bride, groom and officiant looks awful in pictures. Your photographer and your officiant shouldn't even allow it, but if they miss it, ask to have the stand removed and have the officiant hold the mic in one hand.

A professional officiant will test the sound system prior to the ceremony, but if you're having your Uncle Phil marry you (a.k.a. never done a wedding before but you thought it would be a nice touch to have a family member perform your ceremony) then you'll want to be sure that he does a run through with the mic beforehand.

Get a good microphone and be sure it's used properly. Believe me, the guests in the last row will thank you for it.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

To each his (or her) own, I guess

2011-03-11T09:48:00.000-08:00

I've put off writing this post for some time, but I do think the time has arrived. At Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants, we're all about respecting the values of the couple. God/No God, Traditional/Off the Wall, Short 'n Sweet/Longer than a Catholic mass--it's all good. We want couples to have their ceremony any way they want.

Subsequently, our officiants (and that includes me) have learned to check our values at the door (mostly) when it comes to our couples' wedding ceremonies. So I admit in advance that I'm tap dancing around this practice with today's post, but I'm going to do it anyway because the words are inside me, rattling around and just dying to get out.

The topic concerns the gender of the wedding officiant. Checking my values at the door aside, I am amazed at the number of couples that insist on a male officiant to perform their nuptials. Scratch that; I'm amazed at the reasons couples give me for preferring a male officiant.

Some of the reasons, I totally get. I understand the preference for those individuals who have grown up in the Catholic faith (or any male-dominated religion) and may have older relatives who would go into anaphylactic shock on the spot if a woman "priest" showed up to marry the offspring of their offspring.

I also understand a preference for a male or a female energy. In fact, I agree that masculine energy presents far differently than feminine energy and I can understand a couple preferring one over the other. Of course, in this scenario, overall it all averages out as couples are just as likely to prefer female energy as well as male energy. So, yeah, I'm good with that.

And although I always respect and try to fulfill a client's request for a specific gender, I am here to say that I really wish some of you would at least evaluate your reasons for requesting a male. And although I never ask couples why they state a preference for a male, here are some of the ~~excuses~~ reasons that have been offered to me unsolicited, along with my (unspoken) responses.

"A male's voice will project better than a woman's." Apparently, these people never heard me bellow at my kids during the teen years, nor have they heard of Ethyl Merman. Seriously, trained professional speakers know how to project their voice into the back row regardless of gender. And there's also the invention of the microphone which does wonders to ensure that even hard-of-hearing Uncle Maxwell will be able to hear your vows. That is, of course, if he hasn't dozed off.

"I've just always envisioned a man marrying me." Well, if you're the bride, then the man you've imagined marrying you is probably the groom. If you're the groom imagining a man marrying you then, ummm...errrr...that's not a conversation I'm qualified to facilitate. Ohhhhh...wait! By that, you mean, you've imagined a man performing the ceremony! Okay, now I get it. Let me think about that reason for a minute. Okay, I've thought about it. It's dumb. Expand your imagination. At the very least, explore the depths of your mind to reveal why you prefer a male. "Just cuz," isn't good enough.

"Men can be counted on to wear a suit and tie to the ceremony, whereas a woman's wardrobe is more varied, so there's no guarantee that a woman won't show up wearing a funky outfit that would be distracting and/or inappropriate." Apparently, some folks have not heard of Marilyn Manson. Sorry, folks, this excuse isn't cutting it. Unless you've hired Madonna as your wedding officiant, this worry is absurd. Any professional officiant--male or female--can be expected to show up wearing subdued and appropriate wedding attire. If you're unsure, just ask him or her what they will wear.

And in another apparel-related excuse, I had a bride tell me last week that she preferred a male officiant because, "women sometimes wear scarves and I hate scarves." Yeah...good luck with marital harmony, Sweetie, if something like that bugs you.

So there, I've said it. And having done so, I will continue to honor the preference of each and every client who figuratively comes in the door. But just because your preference is honored doesn't mean its reasonable.

If you're a bride or groom who has (or had) a gender preference for your officiant, feel free to leave a comment as to the reasons behind your choice. I'm curious as to whether or not there are any more that I haven't yet heard.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Quick Tip Tuesday - Consider Wedding Insurance

2011-03-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

If you're planning a wedding of any size, chances are you're making a significant financial investment. Check out this article on why wedding event insurance is a good (and inexpensive) idea.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Slip-ups that can spoil your ceremony #1 - Bad directions

2011-03-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

Let's face it, you can't guarantee yourself a perfect wedding day. I would argue that you shouldn't even aspire for perfection. Weddings, like life, are the most memorable when a little flaw is thrown in here and there. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't pay attention to details. This Slip-ups That Can Spoil Your Wedding series will address some of the behind-the-scenes actions you can do to head off awkward situations at the pass.

#1. Bad Directions

Don't blame the tardy wedding guest for his or her poor time management skills if the directions you've included with your invitation are not 100% clear. Below are some tips to make sure everybody gets to the church on time.

1. Don't rely solely on Google Maps or Mapquest as your resource. As one who uses this all the time, I can tell you that Google Map directions are frequently off by a turn or two (or a mile or two). If possible, drive the route yourself. When my daughter, Alyssa, was married, we discovered that the mileage from the main road to the turnoff for her ceremony venue was off by several tenths of a mile so we noted it in the directions, which brings me to #2.

2. Give your guests the courtesy of providing written turn by turn directions. Don't assume that everyone knows how to use Google Maps or has a GPS. Put both a map and directions in the invitation and your guests will be eternally grateful. Show someone else the directions to double-check for accuracy and clarity before you send them off.

3. Tie balloons (in your wedding colors) at significant turning points along the route. This is especially helpful if you are getting married in a nontraditional venue that your guests have not been to in the past.

4. And speaking of nontraditional venues, don't forget to provide directions to guests once they are on site. I've performed many weddings in huge parks, for instance. once inside the entrance, it's difficult to find the ceremony site without further instruction. The best situations are where the couple either posts a friend at the gate or gives the park gate attendant the wedding info so that every car that pulls up is directed accordingly.

5. If the ride is long, you might want to include some additional information. Alyssa's wedding was in the mountains and a two-hour drive from the airport. Knowing that it was a long travel day for many of the guests, we indicated stops along the way that were good to grab a snack/take a restroom break, etc. This helped to ensure that all the guests arrived at the resort in good spirits.

Remember, the devil is in the details. If you're anywhere past the start of your wedding planning process, you've figured that out by now. Don't have all your hard work blow up because you've been sloppy with the details of actually getting people there.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Quick Tip Tuesday - More Great Wedding Resources

2011-03-01T10:23:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is the day we pass along a quick tip, resource or one-line piece of wedding advice to our readers.

So, you're sitting at work, the boss is nowhere to be seen and you're jonesing for some wedding-related inspiration. Check out this site for the Top 100 Blogs and Twitters to follow.

And watch out for the boss!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

When adherence to protocol turns deadly

2011-02-23T09:07:00.000-08:00

A week ago, the local papers in Portland--as well as around the country--were covering the story of a man who--realizing he was experiencing the symptoms of a heart attack--drove himself to the local hospital. Upon entering the hospital grounds, he lapsed into unconsciousness and crashed his car in the hospital parking garage. (Read the story here, as my version doesn't include the details.)

Police were summoned by a bystander who came upon the man in his car. When the cops realized the plight of the man, one began administering CPR while another rushed into the hospital (on the grounds of which the man lay dying) to seek medical attention. This is where the story gets interesting--and deadly. The officer was refused medical help and told to call 911. This, it turns out, was the hospital's protocol. The man died in the parking garage moments later.

If any service provider or vendor wants to push my buttons, all they need to say to me is, "that's our policy (procedure/protocol)." No bigger pet peeve of mine exists. This came to a head for me a few years ago when I had the misfortune to be stuck at Heathrow Airport waiting for a delayed flight. Having passed through security and plunked at the gate for several hours without food or water, anyone who had to use the restroom (FYI: the bathrooms were also on the same side of security as the gate, so no need to pass back through an unsecured area to pee) was subject to an additional search when they returned to the gate waiting area.

So, after a jaunt to the loo, my purse was searched, I was patted down and asked a couple of questions before being allowed to return to my seat. This was repeated nonstop for the couple of hundred people who were waiting for the delayed plane. More perplexed than angered by this (at least initially), I meandered over to the security folks during a lull in their inspection and politely inquired as to why we passengers had to undergo additional security checks even though we remained in a secure area. (I wanted to--but didn't--ask if they thought there were secret stashes of explosives hidden away somewhere in the restrooms--in the tampon dispensaries perhaps? Or maybe tucked into the tiles behind the urinals?)

I feared my query would be met with, "Sit down and shaddup, Lady," but instead the worker said in earnest, "because it's policy." Intrigued, I pressed on. "But why do you think it's the policy? I am wondering what purpose it serves." (Yes, I realized I was walking on thin ice here, but I was asking very nicely!) A blank look. "I honestly don't know," came the response, "they just tell us we have to do it."

I thanked the woman and returned to my seat, thinking over her response. Why, I wondered, in this day and age of crafty and persistent terrorists, would an airport want security people who are trained to do and not think? These employees were being told to "follow protocol" rather than to think for themselves. Now, don't get me wrong, I think a certain level of procedures is great for streamlining processes and getting a job done smoothly, but there comes a time when workers must be trusted to utilize their own innate skills of common sense, empathy and judgment. Which worker would you like to have nearby when there's a bomb afloat in the airport or your loved one is dying in the hospital parking lot--the one who follows protocol or the one who relies on their firsthand assessment of the situation and acts accordingly?

I can't even imagine me or any of our officiants telling a client or a prospective client that they have to have their ceremony a certain way "because it's our policy." Sure, there are things I insist on--such as paying for our services prior to the wedding day, but if questioned, I can give a logical and reasonable answer as to why this is so. Strike me down dead if I ever answer a client's question with "because it's our policy." Am I the only one for whom this conjures up memories of an adult saying "because I said so" to a whiny child?

The moral of the story? If you're a business-owner or service-provider, never, ever, ever give such a disservice to a customer that you pull out the "because that's our policy" card. And if you're a prospective customer who is presented with this? Run, don't walk away.

And, if you find yourself in Heathrow Airport, pee before going to the gate.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

It might be YOUR wedding, but it's THEIR wallet!

2011-02-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

Pause for a moment, dear bride (yes, you with the stars in your eyes and the bridal magazine in your hand) and give thought to the hapless wedding guest--those friends and family members who you simply KNOW will be thrilled to be there on your wedding day to witness your bliss as you begin your picture-perfect life with the best husband in the world.

Okay, now get real. As you are planning the most spectacular wedding of all times, have you given any thought to the cost involved on the part of your guests? And I'm not talking about your bridesmaids and groomsmen (who after all, owe you since you shelled out big bucks to be in their weddings). No, I'm referring to the average Jane or Joe cousins, college roommates, coworkers and neighbors without whom you can't even imagine it's worth getting hitched (???).

Think, for a moment, as you go about planning your elegant adults-only, formal wedding, how this translates to the wallets of your guests.

It's not simply the cost of the gift. Many of your guests must factor in travel costs. What? You thought maybe your cousin from Boston was going to beam herself in for your wedding in L.A.? Even for the locals, there are costs for the bridal shower, bachelor/bachelorette bash, clothing, a sitter for the little ones and the little incidentals like valet parking and a new pair of dancing shoes.

I don't have much advice on this topic, except maybe to give brides the heads up to go easy on your friends and family members for whom attending your wedding would pose a financial hardship. As much as we say the big day is "all about you" the fact is that some folks will not be able to make the financial sacrifice necessary to witness your vows.

When that happens, be understanding and be gracious. Respect the financial choices of others and don't take it personally. Sometimes, there's just a limited supply of dollars to go around and your wedding may not be as high on the priority list as say....oh, I don't know....paying the rent. Don't guilt people into attending. You don't know their financial picture.

Feel free to plan the wedding of your dreams. Just be aware that some of your invitees might not be able to stretch their budget to accommodate your dreams!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Acknowledge the things you DON'T care about

2011-02-17T08:24:00.000-08:00

I've got a goes-against-conventional-wedding-planning-wisdom piece of advice for you.

Somewhere at the start of your wedding planning process, pause for a moment to think about the things you don't care about.

For a moment, set aside the fantasy of you walking serenely down the aisle in your Vera Wang, the delectable-ness of your Bavarian cream filled wedding cake and the to-die for centerpieces on your reception tables. Those delights will still be there (in your mind) when you return from this exercise, I promise. Before the wedding industry, the glossy bridal magazines, your friends, your mother and the Internet start filling your head with their ideas of the must-haves, indulge yourself in a bit of outside the box thinking to come up with the things that simply don't matter to you on your wedding day.

Some possibilities:

I don't even like cake!
My fiance and I have lived together for eight years and have everything we need for the house. What is the point of a bridal shower?
The thought of spending upwards of $2,000 on a dress I'll never wear again makes my frugal heart sink.
A church wedding? I haven't been inside of a church/temple since my baptism/confirmation/bat mizvah in 1998.
I couldn't care less about place cards for the reception. Let everyone sit where they want!
Wedding favors? Ummmmmm.....yeah....okay. Cuz everyone wants another two-inch silver photo frame to dust.
And what exactly will I do with that guest book after the wedding anyway?
The thought of spending hours creating witty and informative ceremony programs just doesn't float my boat.
A formal rehearsal dinner? Can't we just have a barbecue?
Being "given away" by my father. Are you kidding me?
Maybe I don't want to carry a bouquet of flowers.
The garter toss? Oh yeah, that's me all over (inject sarcasm here)

You get the drift. Remember, the only things you have to have on your wedding day are each other, a marriage license, an officiant (in most states) and a witness or two (in some states). After that, it's all up for grabs. You get to be as fancy, simple, traditional or outrageous as you want to be.

Take the time to eliminate the things that you don't care about. Then focus your time, energy and budget on the things that you do.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

A Married Valentine

2011-02-15T08:31:00.000-08:00

First of all, I must make the decision as to whether or not Valentines Day is an occasion that I even want to honor. On the one hand, I'm aware that it's a holiday trumped up by the greeting card, candy and flower people to boost their coffers. On that same hand, I'd like to think I don't need an annual reminder to show Husband some love. On the other hand, I am in the love business, and I don't want to be the cobbler's child sans shoes. Also, it never hurts to have a reminder--commercialized or not--to stop and smell the proverbial marital roses.

So, I opt for a quiet dinner at home, making Husband a cute invitation telling him to show up in the dining room at 6:00 PM sharp and that the dress was to be "casual but not sloppy." One must be very specific in dealing with Husband, I have learned, especially in all matters apparel-related. While Husband is generally most eager to please, his definition of "casual" is vastly different from the rest of the civilized (i.e. female) world. Whereas I consider casual to be khakis and a collared shirt, he might be more likely to show up in sweats and the brown sweatshirt I abhor (yeah, the one with the paint stains).

I decide to take no chances.

I spend the afternoon making my famous crustless cheesecake (okay, I got the recipe from Susanne Somers, but she was too busy exercising on her thighmaster to modify the basic recipe to take it from good to great, so I'm taking the credit). Husband has taken off for the library, so I use the alone time as an occasion to crank up the volume on the Bose and belt out my favorite tunes as I putter in the kitchen. Okay, I admit, I was not exactly puttering. More like gyrating badly whilst slamming cream cheese into the Mixmaster. A good time was had by all. One of the perks of marriage is that if Husband walks in while I am covered in cheesecake ingredients and caterwauling the lyrics to You're So Vain, no one gets embarrassed as one would get if it were one's boyfriend. Husband is legally obligated to stick around for better (yummy cheesecake) or worse (bad singing).

I decide upon cod as the main ingredient for our dinner, mostly because I have some in the freezer. It might be deemed unromantic by some to use as my main ingredient a piece of fish that was purchased with no special occasion in mind, but we are married, so I bypass romance for practicality. Cod is what I have, so cod is what I'll use. I dial up www.allrecipes.com.

Finding two highly-rated recipes for cod, I opt for the Spanish cod, which has ingredients that are not my favorite (green olives, for one) but I see right away that this is a dish Husband will swoon over. Also the other cod recipe was slathered in a rich cream sauce and since it is Valentine's Day, I opt for the more heart-healthy version. Throw in a salad and some homemade bread (made with white flour instead of my usual whole wheat...what the heck, it's Valentine's Day) and we have a meal worthy of any fine dining establishment.

I throw the ingredients into the breadmaker, slide the cheesecake into the oven and head out for a walk. Perhaps I should wait for Husband to return from the library to take a romantic hand-in-hand walk, I wonder. But no, he is busy picking up Yertle the Turtle for me to read to our granddaughter on our next Skype chat and besides, I like to swing my arms when I walk. It's not as if we're dating. We can walk together anytime.

A short while later, with cheesecake having turned out magnificently, I decide I can risk getting into my "casual but not sloppy" date attire even though I have yet to make the meal. I will wear an apron and be careful. I debate briefly about wearing the little black dress. It's what I would choose if I had a boyfriend instead of a husband and were going out on a "real" date. But that means shoes and pantyhose would need to be adorned (the little black dress kinda falls flat if the wearer shows up barefoot) and that's simply more than I can bear thinking about. So I pull on some stretchy-but-can-come-across-as-sexy-with-the-right-accessories-and-in-dim-lighting legwear, top it off with a black shirt and a light wrap. I put my hair up, slap on some earrings, look in the mirror and call it good. Thanking the heavens that I don't have to worry about impressing anyone on Valentine's Day, I amble toward the kitchen to make the meal, telling Husband (who is doing his yoga exercises and has twisted himself into the dead bug position--clearly he is not attempting to impress anyone either) to stay out of the kitchen for the next hour. "You look lovely." he tells me from the floor, as I speculate inwardly that from this vantage point, he is probably not viewing my best side, but that's okay, without his glasses, he can't see all that well anyway. I head toward the kitchen.

I slice an avocado and add it to some romaine lettuce. I figure I'll get fancy and throw some sweetened, toasted pecans atop the salad. I think about drizzling the nuts with honey, but opt for agave instead. Healthier. I toss the sweetened nuts into the toaster oven.

Remembering that I forgot to wrap Husband's present, I tool on down the hall to our bedroom to do so, passing Husband on the way. Husband has disentangled himself from the dead bug position, has showered and is putting on nice pants and a button-down shirt. I congratulate myself for successfully averting a clothing-related "discussion" (translation for the single reader: argument) and vaguely wonder if I have trained him or if it's the other way around. I decide that's not worth the mental energy of pondering. And so to the gift.

My gift to Husband is a good one this year--although many people would find it odd, or even worse--cheap. The reader should understand that Husband and I are becoming devoted to the minimalist lifestyle, so rarely exchange gifts at all. And when we do, they are always gifts of experiences over things. However, Husband loves maps. Husband has a love of maps like I have a love for my children. He will read a map like I read a novel. Yes, it is a weird quirk, but it keeps him home at night, so I allow it.

Husband is also an avid bicyclist. Several weeks ago, I stumbled across a website offering free maps of Portland-area bike trails. Free! I ordered one for each section of the city and they arrived just in time for Valentines Day. And they're waterproof! This, to Husband, would be the best gift EVER! I wrap them in red tissue and tie with a white ribbon and head back to the kitchen, which is now a smoky mess as I've forgotten about the (now burning) toasted pecans. Cursing briefly, I grab a mitt, hurling the pecans into the sink with one hand and throwing open the kitchen window with the other. I close the kitchen door, hopefully keeping the stinky burnt smell out of the adjoining dining room and for good measure, I throw on the super-sucker overhead fan that we had installed over the stove for just such emergencies.

Okay, where was I? I slice onions for the Spanish cod, grab a few more ingredients and wave my arms to clear the smoke. I debate whether or not I want to attempt a second batch of pecans and decide that I do. Scrubbing the blackened toaster oven tray in preparation for its second use, I notice the sink beginning to fill with water. I flip garbage disposal switch. Strangled gurgling sounds emanate from the drain, but water sits in sink, the brown chunks swirling merrily, but refusing to leave the building. Great.

Walking quickly down the hall with a feigned air of "I've got this covered," I head toward the master bath (home of the plunger), I pass Husband in the hall. I silently pray to God, Mary, Jesus and all the saints that Husband will not take this moment to ask about the burned smell, for if he does, I will undoubtedly do something that would ultimately end up with me pleading insanity and throwing myself on the mercy of the court.

Fortunately, Husband has the good sense to keep his mouth shut. In hindsight, I see that Husband has indeed made great strides in the communications department over the last five years. Grabbing the plunger, I saunter back down the hallway, addressing the confused look on Husband's face with, "Don't worry--I've got everything under control." As if!

Back to kitchen, I remove the second batch of pecans. Perfectly toasted, thank you very much. Addressing the sink, I center the plunger over the drain and push down. Nothing. The position of the drain gives me virtually no leverage---forcing me to try to plunge using only my arm strength (which is shabby at best....okay, who am I kidding? it's nonexistent). The only way I'm going to unclog this sucker is to get my body into it.I lean forward and P U S H! The black rubber bowl of the plunger makes a satisfying ker-THUNk sound, a millisecond before the swirling brown water gushes upward to soak both my perfectly made up face and my wrap. So much for the apron.

However, the sink does clear, and so triumphant am I that I was able to fix it without seeking Husband's assistance that I am hardly bothered by the chunks of soggy singed pecans clinging to my hair. I quickly slip back down the bedroom (no Husband in sight) redo makeup, change clothes and am back in the kitchen before the cod knows I am missing.

I slip into the dining room to set the table. Husband looks up from the desk in the adjoining living room and asks, "Honey, did you by chance throw the switch on the super-sucker fan in the kitchen?' "Yes," says I, "I had a slight "overcooking" issue (I feel my nose start to grow). Why do you ask?" After saying this, I notice that there is a peculiar smoky odor in the room, but yet it is different than my singed pecan smell. "Phew," say I, "What is that smell?"

"Well, Dearest," says Husband, "remember that we had a fire in the fireplace last evening and the wood was a tad damp before burning? The residual ash was quite pungent. I cleaned out the fireplace but apparently there was some residual stinkage and when you turned on the super-sucker fan, it has now pulled said stinkage out into the living and dining room."

Okay. Kitchen smells like burned nuts. Dining room smells like burned soggy logs. My romantic Valentine's dinner is not turning out as I'd planned. I think maybe dating is easier than this. I pause to ponder this idea. Boyfriend or casual date takes me to an over-priced restaurant, presents me with roses that some poor exploited Ecuadorian has grown and tops it off with a box of high fructose corn syrup confections that will add several inches to my thighs. Then, expects sex in return for such generosity. I look over at Husband, flapping his arms trying to remove stench from room before I throw a conniption. I got the better deal. Dating sucks.

Return to kitchen, turn off super sucker fan. Throw open windows in kitchen and dining room. The room clears; windows are shut, salad is served. Husband raves over the salad and its presentation as if he has never eaten salad and I am personally responsible for the introduction of salad to the civilized world. He makes note of the toasted perfection of the pecans. I mentally congratulate myself for picking best husband ever (after a few false starts) as well as on my superior pecan-toasting abilities (ditto).

Spanish cod is served on my beautiful yellow platter, purchased in Spain (getting the theme here?). I must say, it is a beautiful presentation and Husband is duly appreciative--alternating between exclamations of joy and slurping the food. I pick out the olives and proclaim the dish "not bad."

After dinner, Husband opens gift and as expected, has map-gasms over the array of bicycling options spread before him. Husband looks at me as if I am the most clever woman on the face of the planet. Cheesecake is served, along with another glass of wine and Husband licks clean his second plate (okay, his third) of the evening. I contemplate the disaster that used to be my kitchen and drag my weary self (Did I mention that anything more than one glass of wine makes me sleepy beyond all telling?) towards the kitchen to begin what should be no more than a three-day process of cleanup.

"I will do the dishes," says Husband.

"No," says I, "this was my gift to you,"

"But I can do the cleanup much faster and the kitchen really isn't all that much of a mess." The first part of this is true; the second is a bald faced lie.

"Well," says I, "let's do it together."

I clear the table and put away the leftovers, before Husband shoos me out of kitchen to complete the process of getting scum-covered dishes and pans off the counter and either into the dishwasher or the soapy water of the sink. I curl up on the couch and am glad I wore stretch pants. Husband has also unbuckled his belt, I notice. "Ha," think I, "try doing THAT at a fancy restaurant." I doze. only to awaken a few minutes later to the sight of my husband settling himself on the couch wearing his sweat pants. "You changed out of your date clothes," I say accusingly. "Yes," says Husband.

"Oh goody," say I, making a beeline for my own sweats.

We snuggle on the couch. Husband begins making overtures. "I'm tired," I mutter through my wine-fogged brain. After all, it's all of 8:30 and I've had a long day. A moment later, I relent, "Okay, but you're gonna have to do all the work...."

This does not seem to bother him in the least...

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

A Beautifully Affordable Chapel Designed with the Intimate Ceremony in Mind

2011-02-11T15:30:00.000-08:00

I'm always on the lookout for charming small venues that don't cost a fortune to rent. While many elopement ceremonies are held outside, there comes a time--like when it's February in Colorado--when an beautiful indoor location is needed. These are not easy to come by, as traditional wedding venues are often designed to accommodate many more people. There's nothing worse (or more echo-y) than a wedding with 5 guests held in a room or church that is meant to accommodate 150!

So I was delighted to find this gem in Colorado Springs. Called the American Mother's Chapel, it's run by the CO Springs Parks and Rec Department and it holds up to 12 people. Better still, it's only $200 for an entire day's rental!

Is it not lovely? And that's our very own Colorado Springs Wedding Officiant Mary Borsick performing an intimate ceremony last month. Warm and toasty inside...freaking freezing outside.

Visit our Colorado Springs website if you're interested in booking your intimate ceremony at the American Mother's Chapel. It's better than Vegas!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Have we seen the last of super-sized weddings? Time will tell.

2011-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

They tell me there's an economic recovery going on. I read that people are breaking out their credit cards once again. As a business owner that takes credit cards, you'd think I'd be overjoyed at this. As a consumer who values simplicity and thrift, however, it makes me cringe.

From a wedding perspective, having the economy in the toilet meant that we saw a lot of downsizing of celebrations. Guest lists were smaller; we saw less fuss; DIY became a hot trend. Elopements surged.

I have to admit, I liked it.

I liked that couples got more creative instead of throwing money at everything. I liked that there was more of a focus on the marriage as opposed to mega-wedding planning. I liked that weddings seemed more intimate and less super-sized. I liked the simplicity. I liked that people took the time to get their priorities in order and spend (or not) accordingly.

I hope that those lessons don't get lost as people become more financially flush. That's probably unrealistic, for I generally believe that money and creativity have an inverse relationship. It's too bad that having confidence in our financial future--either as individuals or a country--gives us permission to spend, spend, spend. However, I still hope that our ostentatious super-sized wedding days are behind us.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Quick Tip Tuesday - It's Tax Time!

2011-02-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is the day we pass along a quick tip, resource or one-line piece of wedding advice to our readers.

Yes, I know that taxes are not the stuff that romance is made of, but it's a necessary evil (hence all those dire predictions about death and taxes).

In my reading this week, I found a great piece about Newlyweds and taxes that I want to pass along for this weeks Quick Tip Tuesday. So, in addition to planning your seating chart, tallying RSVPs and tasting cakes, you might want to take a moment to address your post-marital taxes as well.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Six things to NEVER say when trying to get the best price from a vendor

2011-02-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

Let's face it, most folks try to get the best bang for their buck. Likewise, most reputable wedding vendors acknowledge and understand this. We are consumers, too. So, yes, we get that couples are watching their pennies. And surprisingly to many brides and grooms, we almost always have a pretty good idea of what our competition charges and where our prices fall on the continuum.

Since everyone is looking for the best deal, I thought I'd let you in on some expressions/phrases/techniques that definitely will NOT work when it comes to getting the best price from your wedding vendor. And, in case you're wondering, most vendors get these on a daily basis.

1. I'm on a tight budget. No kidding? You and everyone else on the planet. Bear in mind that wedding vendors don't price their services according to your budget, but rather on the time and effort they must put into your wedding, plus their expertise and expenses. Better to say, "My budget for your service/product is X or less. What, if anything, can you offer me for that price?"

2. I talked to (fill in name of your competitor here) and they will give me the same service/product for less. If you match their price, I will go with you today. Ummmm...okay, and if we order before midnight tonight will you throw in a free gift? There is so much wrong with this statement, that I hardly know where to begin. First of all, we know what our competition charges, remember? We know you are (let's put it kindly) exaggerating the truth when you tell us this. If it is, in fact, true that someone is willing to offer you the exact same service/product for less, then we'd encourage you to go with the other vendor. To do otherwise would be unkind and self-serving. Except we all know that the services are not, in fact, exact. There is a reason you want our (better) service at our competitor's (cheaper) price. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way. Don't insult a professional by haggling with them in this manner.

3. I'm not sure what I want. If you're trying to get the lowest price possible from a vendor, don't expect them to do your thinking for you. That takes time on their part and and they will expect to be paid for their time. One way to save money is to do some basic homework first. Telling a florist which kind of flowers you want for your bouquet takes less time then than sitting with them for hours looking over every catalog they own. Calling an officiant and telling them that you plan to be married on such and such a date at this place and you'd like to see what they can offer you in terms of officiating services makes more sense than calling the officiant and expecting to pick their brain about venues for 30 minutes.

4. I've done most of the work myself, can you just show up and (fill in the blank)? At the other end of the spectrum from #3 is the DIY couple who expects a pro to come in and perform damage control (for a dirt cheap price) on the work the couple has done to date. I have the hardest time trying to get this type of couple to understand that there is more to officiating then simply showing up and reading the ceremony. In fact, it's generally more work to fix a botched amateur ceremony script than it is to create one from scratch. If you want a deal, don't expect that taking the job halfway makes it easier for the pro. It doesn't.

5. You're the last vendor we have to hire and I've spent SO much on the other areas of my wedding, that I'm broke. Wow! Way to make a vendor feel that you couldn't value their contribution to your wedding any less! Sure, I'll give you a price break since you overspent your budget on that stretch Hummer. Not!

6. Do you give discounts for small weddings? The size of the wedding seldom (with a very few exceptions) makes a difference in terms of the work involved. DJ's must still play the same number of songs and haul the same equipment, whether it's for 50 or 500 guests. The ceremony length does not change. The time your photographer takes to shoot and edit your photos is not lessened. Granted, small weddings do save couples money, but that is primarily on the food and drink.

7. If you give me a deep discount (or better yet, sponsor my wedding by donating your service for free), I will refer you to all of my friends who are getting married. Yes, I know that the upstanding among you are gasping at this statement, but it happens more often than you might think. I'm not going to give this the dignity of analysis. Suffice it to say that this will never work with a reputable vendor... Never.

So, how can a couple get the best price? More on that tomorrow.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Quick Tip Tuesday - Get The Groom Involved

2011-02-01T06:45:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is the day we pass along a quick tip, resource or one-line piece of wedding advice to our readers.

I've been chatting with my peeps in the biz and we are noting--pleasantly so--that more and more grooms have been making the first contact with us. It used to be that it was pretty much the bride who contacted us 100% of the time; with the groom kind of going along for the ride.

Today's Quick Tip Tuesday tip: Do what you have to do to get your groom involved in the wedding planning. Let's set the tone for this marriage right off the bat, shall we? Unless you want to be the one "in charge" of everything for the rest of your born days, you're setting a dangerous precedent.

If you need ideas on how to get him on board, read our blog post 10 Ways to get your Fiance Involved in the Wedding Planning Process, then split that to-do list in half!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Tips for the Mother of the Bride: When your Daughter Doesn't Want A Church Wedding

2011-01-31T08:21:00.000-08:00

Ah! This can be a tough one if you're a religious MOB. You've tried to do right. You brought your daughter into this world, dutifully had her baptized (if appropriate), set a good example by attending church, mass, temple, mosque (pick one). When the time came, you had her Bat Mitzvahed, confirmed, or communionized (ditto). When she was small, you read to her from The Illustrated Children's Bible, and patiently waited night after night while she sleepily recited Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, followed by fervent childish pleas to God to bless everyone from Grammy and Grandpa to the hamster to her stuffed dog.

You thought all was well. You thought you'd raised a God-fearing, church-going, at least quasi-pious young adult. That is, until the day she and her no-good spiritual-but-not-religious beau (now fiance) let you know that they intend to be married in a meadow, with their best friend performing the ceremony--all totally legal with the ordination that said friend obtained on the Internet. And oh, by the way, they don't want any mention of God in their ceremony, preferring instead to focus solely on love, commitment and family.

Whoa! What family would that be? Surely not the mother who raised her differently! How can this ungrateful child turn her back on the religious beliefs in which she has been immersed since birth? What about the incense, the stained glass, the Easter bonnets, the Friday night Sabbath candles? Hello????

I'm going to deviate here from my usual tendency to help people find a middle ground. Trust me, in this situation, it can't be done. The best you're going to get out of this is a "we agree to disagree" resolution. I'm going to break it to you, Mom, your role as the instiler of religious faith is long over. This child of yours has made up her mind as to the ethics and practices that will govern her life. Your job here is done. (Don't worry--you've still got many other roles to fill--you're not ready to be put out to pasture in the mothering department quite yet.)

When you are greeted with the above wedding-in-the-meadow announcement you are to do this. Say nothing. Or at least, say nothing negative. Do you think this child of yours who has been around you for the better part of a couple of decades does not know how you feel? Give her some credit. Of course she does. You need not go out of the way to communicate your feelings on the matter. This is her wedding, the start of her married life. The ceremony that confers this union upon her and her husband must reflect who they are.

And if that does not include a nod to a higher power, then so be it. Hold your tongue, say a silent prayer for them and move on.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

When Being Late is NOT Better than Never

2011-01-28T09:18:00.000-08:00

"You may delay, but time will not." Benjamin Franklin

I don't know what it is about these times in which we live, but being on time appears to have gone the way of the dinosaur. When I was young (back in the days when--at least my daughters believe--dinosaurs actually did roam the earth), it was understood that the time on the wedding invitation was the time that the bride started her walk down the aisle. Period. There was none of this 15 minutes of dithering about while last minute guests strolled in and expected to find a prime seat.

If you're one of those brides who doesn't care about such things, then read no further. You can simply set an "ish" time (e.g. 2-ish, 6-ish) and stroll down the aisle any time within an hour or two of your approximation. (Bear in mind that some of your vendors might take issue with this. You may be minus an officiant if yours has another commitment, and your catered dinner might be stone cold, but whatever! You're in love and it is your day.)

If you're in the majority of brides who'd like to be wed sometime close to your projected hour, then you might want to anticipate how you will deal with tardy wedding guests. Plan for it now as opposed to on the wedding day, when your mind will be on other things.

If you are obsessed with getting down the aisle exactly on time (although 5-10 minutes late is the norm), then you might want to put a ceremony start time on your invitations that is 15 to 30 minutes earlier than the actual ceremony start time. The downside to this is that your relatives who do tend to be prompt will get there early and may be lingering about for up to an hour, wondering why the heck you are so late getting started. Also, if they find out about the duplicity, they might be really annoyed--annoyed enough to delay giving you your wedding gift in retaliation. Hmmmmm...you might want to re-think this idea.

Resign yourself to the idea that some guests will simply be late. Now the issue becomes what you want to do about it. My best advice is to decide, in advance, how long you want to wait. I recommend no more than 15 minutes. Anything longer than that is simply rude to your guests who did make the effort to get there on time. At the appointed time, it's showtime, regardless of who does or doesn't have their AIS (ass in seat). Be sure that someone is assigned the job of watching (a.k.a. guarding) the entrance so that no hapless late arrivals interrupt your carefully crafted processional. Once you are down the aisle, the steward of the entrance can allow your guests to be seated quickly and quietly while you are getting your dressed fixed, handing off your bouquet and reveling in the glory of everyone basking in your loveliness.

Another way to handle this issue is to have a more casual ceremony-and-reception-in-one type of atmosphere. Many couples who are having their ceremony and party at a single location are opting to forgo the tradition of having the bride be in seclusion prior to making her grand entrance. Instead, both bride and groom present themselves beforehand--in full wedding attire--to meet and mingle with their guests, perhaps over cocktails. Sometime well after the guests have arrived, a short ceremony is held, after which everyone goes back to partying. It has a much different feel than the traditional ceremony followed by receiving line and dinner.

If there is someone in your social circle who is renowned for running late, and this person's presence is important to your happiness on the wedding day, then consider implementing some special procedures to get this person to the church on time. If you must, then appoint someone as their buddy whose sole job is to get them there by the time indicated on the invitation.

If you think this sounds like a not-so-big deal, think again. My sister's future in-laws were late for her wedding in 1968 and she still turns an unusual shade of green when it's mentioned. (Then again, she's even more of a dinosaur than I am and it really was considered a major faux pas back then. And for those of you who are wondering, yes, she married him anyway and yes, the marriage is still going strong.)

So, yes, guest tardiness is something that you do want to spend a minute or two pondering. If none of the above appeals, you could simply barrel ahead and, come showtime, waltz down the aisle regardless of who isn't there. You may have more empty seats than you like, but dammit, you will have made your point.

Not everyone will respect that you want to have your day run like a well oiled machine. Someone will be late, I virtually guarantee it. Decide now how you'll handle it so there will be one less decision to make on your wedding day. And if the idea of late arrivals is totally abhorrent to you. Well, you can always elope.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Putting your love into words: the art of reciting vows

2011-01-26T08:22:00.000-08:00

In spite of how wrapped up you are in designing your invitations, finding the perfect tiara to adorn your coiffed tresses, tracking down the best photojournalistic photographer that money can buy and trying to decide between alstroemeria and Gerbera daisies for the boutonnieres, the heart of your wedding day is meant to be the moment in which the two of you exchange your vows. Yeah, no kidding, I'm serious.

The vow is where it all begins. Without vows...well, the day is pretty much just a big party. Sweet and simple or complex and multifaceted, the words you exchange--and the method in which you exchange them--matters. Whether it's just the two of you and an officiant or you're standing before 200 guests, the moment you'll want firmly etched in your mind in the years ahead will be the one where you looked into each other eyes and made that all-important commitment. (Yes, even more important than your first dance, upon which you spent endless hours of dance classes perfecting every step.)

You'll want to think about whether you want to write your own, recite traditional religious or civil vows, or choose from pre-written vows offered by your officiant. In addition, consider how you want to deliver your vows. Yep--there's more than one way.

Repeat after the officiant

Pros: It's easy to do. You don't have to think--especially helpful if you're nervous. Your guests will be able to hear because even if you mumble and stammer, the officiant's voice will carry to the very last row. You can look directly into each others eyes while you state your vows.

Cons: Even if you've written your own heartfelt vows, it can sometimes sound a little stilted when you have to repeat them phrase by phrase after someone else. If you have a less-than-professional officiant, he or she may not feed you the phrases with the proper syntax, so you end up saying something like "I, Lauren, take" (repeat), "you, Richard" as opposed to "I, Lauren" "take you, Richard." This will make your expression of love sound really choppy.

Reading off cards

Pros: It's you and only you that your guests hear as you speak your words of commitment. You can go at your own pace and you can infuse your own personality into how the words are stated.

Cons: It's tough to look your beloved in the eye when you're reading, sometimes resulting in a less-than-heartfelt feeling. If you're nervous, it's easy to lose your place. Also, cards can be misplaced or lost (and even if they're not, you'll worry that they will). Reading from a card doesn't lend itself to beautiful photographs either. Unless you have a microphone, if you have more than 50 guests or so, chances are that many of them won't hear your vows.

Memorizing

Pros: If it's done well, memorizing and reciting your vows without aid of minister or notes is beautiful, heartfelt and you can look the love of your life in the eyes while you state your vows. The photos come out great as there are no papers being shuffled. You could even pre-arrange to have your officiant step out of the way, if you want, so it's just the two of you during the most significant part of the ceremony.

Cons: You will be nervous, you might forget the words. (One way to ensure against this is to give a copy of your vows to your officiant, who can prompt you if need be.) As with reading off cards, you might not be heard in the back row.

Ad libbing

Pros: If you're a person who is good at winging it, this can be a wonderfully spontaneous way to express your vows. It won't sound stilted and rehearsed, but heartfelt and genuine.

Cons: Don't even think about this unless you're extremely comfortable being the center of attention in front of a group of people. There is nothing worse that poorly ad libbed vows, or those stated in a halting, fumbling manner. If there is an ounce of nervousness, this won't come off well.

Simply Say "I do"

Some couples prefer not to speak the words of the vows, but to have the vows phrased by the officiant in the form of a question (like Jeopardy!) to which they simply respond, "I do," or "I will."

Pros: This is a great method if you are at all shy or anxious about speaking in front of a group. Everyone will hear since it will be the officiant who states the words. If simplicity is one of your values, this is a great idea.

Cons: This method can seem anticlimactic to some couples, who plan and fantasize about the ceremony, only to have it over quickly with a simple "I do." It might come across as a less-than-significant act with this approach. It doesn't let you infuse your own personality into the vows.

The methods above can be used whether you write your own vows, use pre-established ones or a combination of the two. What's important is to say what you want to say in the way you want to say it.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Winner of the Wedding Wire Bride's Choice Award for Three Years Running!

2011-01-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

WeddingWire, the nation’s leading wedding technology company, is thrilled to announce that Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants has been selected to receive the prestigious annual WeddingWire Bride’s Choice Awards™ 2011 for officiating.

Recognition for the Bride’s Choice Awards™ 2011 is determined by recent reviews and extensive surveys from over 750,000 WeddingWire newlyweds. Our past clients are among those that shared their experiences on WeddingWire, the largest wedding review site in the nation.

Lyssabeth's stands among the top five percent of wedding professionals in the WeddingWire community, representing quality and service excellence within the wedding industry. Awards were given to the top wedding professionals across 20 service categories, from wedding venues to wedding photographers, and were based on the overall professional achievements throughout the past year.

“WeddingWire is honored to celebrate the success of the top-rated wedding professionals within the WeddingWire community,” said Timothy Chi, WeddingWire’s Chief Executive Officer. “With the annual Bride’s Choice Awards™ program, WeddingWire has the unique opportunity to recognize the best wedding professionals across the US and Canada. We applaud Lyssabeth's for their professionalism and dedication to enhancing the wedding planning experience last year.”

For more information on the Bride’s Choice Awards™ 2011, please visit www.WeddingWire.com.

About WeddingWire, Inc.
WeddingWire.com, the nation's leading technology company serving the $70 billion wedding industry, is the only online wedding planning resource designed to empower both engaged couples and wedding professionals. For engaged couples, WeddingWire offers the ability to search, compare and book over 200,000 local wedding vendors, from wedding venues to wedding photographers to wedding cakes. WeddingWire also offers an online community and a suite of cutting-edge planning tools for weddings, including wedding websites and wedding checklists, all at no charge. For wedding professionals, WeddingWire provides free online management tools creating the only market opportunity that gives local businesses control over their clients, reviews, leads and performance. Businesses that join the WeddingWire Network appear on WeddingWire.com and other leading sites, including MarthaStewartWeddings.com (NYSE: MSO), ProjectWedding.com and Weddingbee.com (both part of eHarmony), and Celebrations.com (part of the 1-800-Flowers family of brands, NASDAQ: FLWS).

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants

CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants

Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants

Monterey CA Wedding Officiants

Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants

Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)

Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)

Oregon Wedding Officiants

Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Quick Tip Tuesday - Put down the bridal magazines and pick up your headphones

2011-01-25T09:41:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is the day we pass along a quick tip, resource or one-line piece of wedding advice to our readers.

Check out the Wedding Podcast Network. The largest, most comprehensive collection of original wedding talk radio programming for couples planning their wedding. Conversations with newlyweds and wedding professionals sharing their firsthand experiences.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Let's Eliminate These Wedding Bastardizations Right Now!

2011-01-20T08:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Brides,

I know you don't get married every day. Hopefully this is a once in a lifetime happening. I know that wedding lingo is not part of your everyday speech like "just sayin,'" "whatever," and "epic." But there are some terms, that when mispronounced or misspelled, are simply not going to show you in your best light. Studies have shown that brides who portray themselves as quasi-illiterate pay 37% more for their weddings than their more verbally polished counterparts*. So to save you money and embarrassment, here is a head's up on some of the most common verbiage transgressions--extracted from inquiries I've received.

Vowels. As in, "I want to write my own vowels." People, it's VOW!! Unless you are only going to say. "I" take "U" then you are using the wrong word.

Ring Barer. If your little nephew is going to come down the aisle buck naked, then this is proper. If however, he is going to wear an adorable little tux and carry your rings on a pillow, he is your ring bearer.

Rehersal. Remember that it has the word "hear" in it. Rehearsal.

Officiate. That is the verb. I am not an officiate. I am an officiant. I officiate the ceremony.

It's Nuptial, not Nuptual. As in, "the bastard is making me sign a prenuptial agreement."

Please R.S.V.P. RSVP stands for the French phrase répondez s'il vous plaît

or "please respond." When you say Please RSVP, you are saying, "Please, Please, I beg of you, Respond!" Over the top--leave off the please--you'll sound way less desperate.

Okay, I know there's more--I see them daily, but that is all that come to mind at the moment. Feel free to add your own in the comment box. Have to run--I need to go write a piece on the difference between "your" and "you're" and "their," "there," and "they're." (Is my work never done?)

Love,

Maureen

*A totally made-up statistic with absolutely nothing to back it up, but I'll do anything to further the cause.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants

CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants

Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants

Monterey CA Wedding Officiants

Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants

Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)

Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)

Oregon Wedding Officiants

Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

This Tip May Save a Friendship!

2011-01-19T10:11:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is the day we pass along a quick tip, resource or one-line piece of wedding advice to our readers. (Yes, I know it's Wednesday, but we got waylaid yesterday, so here is the tip today. It's late, but it's a good one!)

So, you are dying to ask your best friend to be your bridesmaid, but you know she's broke and won't be able to afford the dress and all the trimmings necessary to participate. You don't want to offend her by bringing up anything so crass as money, you don't want to leave her out, and you certainly don't want to add to her financial burden.

What to do? What to do?

Scoot on over to Little Borrowed Dress, where all of your bridesmaids can rent the most fabulous fashions for a song. Why not? They're only going to wear the dress once anyway. Check it out. As the site says, "your friends are forever, but their bridesmaids dresses don’t have to be!"

Let's hear it for a great money saving idea!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

For Mothers of the Bride: Resolve to be the best MOB you can be

2011-01-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

It wouldn't be January without resolutions and, in my opinion, no one needs to stick to theirs more than an MOB.

As the Mother of the Bride, you will be cajoled, whined at, and quite possibly thwarted at every turn. You'll be asked to give your opinion on no less than 61 wedding dresses and then your daughter will pick the one you liked the least. You'll feel faint over the price of catering services, be told what color dress you're allowed to wear, and be expected to listen to your darling daughter rant over whatever it is that has gone awry in her wedding planning week. More than once, you'll shake your head in exasperation as to why your offspring--who once upon a time let you pick out her outfits--now has definite opinions about...well...everything.

Oh yeah, it's fun; bit it can get ugly. So right here, right now, make the following resolutions so that you and your daughter are still the best of friends when she gets back from the honeymoon.

1. Remember that you had your day. This is your daughter's wedding, not yours. If you missed having a big wedding for whatever reason, then plan an upscale vow renewal for you and your hubby on your next round-number anniversary. Your daughter's wedding is not your time to be in the spotlight.

2. Remember what your mother taught you, "if you don't have anything nice to say...". If you are presented with lime green and orange invitations as a fait accompli, then smile and comment on their originality or their colorfulness. Then zip it.

3. Pick your battles. Decide what one or two things you'd like added to the wedding day. Ask nicely. For my oldest daughter's wedding, I wanted her to have bagpiper lead her down the aisle. I gave up a lot for that bagpiper! For daughter # 2, I wanted to perform her ceremony myself (as the hired hand for daughter #1's wedding had been less than stellar). I got both of these things and my daughters and I are still speaking.

4. Be upfront with how much money--if any--you are able to kick in. Don't let your daughter fly blind on this. Determine how much you can contribute in terms of both time and money and have a detailed discussion with your daughter and son-in-law to-be.

5. If you're separated, divorced or otherwise estranged from your daughter's father, keep your negative feelings about him to yourself. You will not catch cooties by sitting next to him at the ceremony for 25 minutes. Be gracious.

6. Be a calming influence. Your daughter is younger than you (that's how it works). You're the mature one. When her bridesmaids are being flaky, the baker insists she can't match the wedding colors for the cake and the best man steadfastly maintains he won't wear a rented tux to match everyone else, you just might be the one who gets the I'm-so-frustrated-all-I-want-to-do-is-elope phone call. Don't jump on the drama train along with your daughter. Help her gain perspective.

7. And speaking of perspective. Do all that you can to help your daughter be as excited about the life she'll be living after the wedding as she is about the wedding day itself.

Resolve to be the best MOB you can be, and you'll all live happily ever after.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Imagine that!

2011-01-15T07:58:00.000-08:00

I don't generally post on weekends, being that I'm usually out and about marrying people and all, but I woke up this morning with a nagging urge to communicate this one small (but potentially huge) thing for all the brides that read this blog.

Take a break from all your wedding planning and do me a favor. Sometime this weekend, put aside the lists, charts, swatches, and bridal magazines just for a few minutes. Forget about the to-do's, the must-make decisions, the vendor contracts you need to review, and the tastings you need to schedule, for a little while. Instead, I want you to indulge yourself (don't worry--it's not highly caloric) and simply sit and imagine your wedding day. I mean, really get into it. Picture yourself waking up and whispering "today's the day." Imagine your bridesmaids coming over, the laughter, the makeup session, slipping into that gorgeous dress, the look on your mom's face.

Speculate on what it will feel like to walk down the aisle, seeing him see you for the first time, the music, your dad beside you. Hear yourself saying your vows, the first married kiss, the guest-mingling after the ceremony, the dance, the cake-cutting. Walk through every aspect of the day in your mind--not just the tasks to accomplish, but the emotions you might feel, the smells you will smell, the laughter you'll hear (hopefully your own as well), the glint of sunlight on your wedding band--which will become a permanent fixture on the third finger of your left hand and a daily reminder of who you are.

You've been planning your little heart out and your day will be spectacular because of it. But it will also be over in a heartbeat. Enjoy the anticipation, relish your bright future, dream a little, or a lot.

Imagine!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Sometimes, it takes less time than you think (to do anything)

2011-01-14T08:31:00.000-08:00

I've just finished reading The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. One of her resolutions was to write a novel. Now, you wouldn't think this would be much of a stretch for someone like Rubin, who is a New Your Times bestselling author. But the catch was that she only gave herself one month in which to do it. Doubting that it would work, she nonetheless set a goal, divided the work into manageable pieces and worked at it every day. At the end of the month, she had indeed finished a novel. Her biggest surprise was that such a feat was actually doable in a mere 30 days time.

This past weekend, with a heave and a sigh, my husband, Jeremy, sat down to catalog his photography negatives, which he'd "put off doing for 30 years." He indicted that he figured this was going to be a multi-month process at best. So imagine my surprise when he came to me after a few scant hours of categorizing and informed me that he didn't have as many negatives as he first thought. Turns out the project isn't going to take long at all.

Then, there's me. I've been procrastinating on putting together a plan for my blog posts. I am usually a get-down-to-it kind of gal, but the perceived enormity of this task overwhelmed me to the point where I kept putting the whole project on the back burner. I just like to write--the idea of actually having an organized plan for my blog posts sounded like way too much work. Yesterday, I finally sat down and addressed the questions of scope, purpose, function, posting schedule and what fun and interesting things I wanted to add to my blog. Then, I made a list of various things to include in the blog. Energized, I wrote out five blog entries, to be published during the week. Total time to accomplish all this? 90 minutes. Turns out the task wasn't so overwhelming after all.

How many times do we put off doing things because we fear the amount of effort it will take, only to find once the job is done, that the procrastination wasn't warranted? This happens a lot with wedding planning. We read the "stats" saying that planning the average wedding takes the equivalent number of hours of a full time job for six months, or some such nonsense. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But I can guarantee that sitting around and contemplating the enormity of the task definitely won't get it accomplished (unless those thoughts scare you into chucking the whole big wedding thing and eloping, which would effectively eliminate the issue).

So, take it from those of us who have blown projects out of proportion only to find them manageable. Tackle that nagging task today. You might be pleasantly surprised at how little time it takes.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Just Us Two

2011-01-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Kimberley and Jose, who now have the most memorable anniversary date of 1/11/11. Here are some photos of their romantic (and obviously fun!) Santa Cruz elopement officiated by our very own Corrina McFarlane.

Simply beautiful!

First kiss

Woo Hoo!

Making it legal

Officiant Corrina and the happy couple

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Flash Mob Wedding - It doesn't get any better than this!

2011-01-11T07:51:00.000-08:00

Many thanks to my colleague Bre over at An Elegant Affair, who brought this one to my attention. You have got to see this! Such fun!

Quick Tip Tuesday - Save Big on Honeymoon Travel

2011-01-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is the day we pass along a quick tip, resource or one-line piece of wedding advice to our readers.

The economy is rebounding. Yea! I can attest to that firsthand. Whether it has rebounded, or whether the media just wants us to think it has rebounded, I can't tell, but I do know that brides and grooms with whom I've been chatting have been less focused on price and more concerned about the quality that they are getting for their money.

If the recession has had any silver lining, it's been to make us more conscious of our spending and quite frankly, anything that makes us more mindful about that can't be all bad. So today's QTT is straight from the New York Times and just in time for those of you planning your honeymoon travel. Eleven Tricks to Cutting Travel Costs in 2011.

Check our Tip #2 - Buy on Tuesday. Well, what are you waiting for?

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Newly Engaged? Be prepared for the ride of your life.

2011-01-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, so you're newly engaged. Good for you. You're entering a new era in your life. You are now fair game for all kinds of unsolicited advice. Ahhh....fresh meat. A newly engaged and uninitiated bride-to-be who is innocent in the ways of wedding planning. Be afraid, be very afraid, for you are about to be subjected to an onslaught of folks who at this very moment are crawling out of the woodwork to give you their advice and more importantly, their opinions.

You know the old saying that you don't really know someone until you live with them? That's a buncha crap. You don't really know someone until you plan a wedding with them (and trust me, there are a ton of people who will be in this with you, even if you think you're the independent type. Here are some examples, followed by some possible perspectives:

Your fiance (who, if he had his druthers would opt for you, a ring, shorts, flip flops and an officiant on the beach as his dream wedding, followed by drinking Champagne out of the bottle and a walk along the shore).
Your mother (who has never forgiven her mother for convincing her to have a courthouse wedding 30 years ago and finally, finally has a chance to plan "her" dream wedding).
Your sister (who is jealous because you're getting married and she hasn't had a date in six months).
Your fiance's mother (who has had the misfortune of giving birth to only sons and you're marrying her oldest boy; she can't wait to plan your wedding. Surely your mother won't begrudge her some hands-on involvement--she has another daughter after all.)
Your best friend (who erroneously perceives herself as quite the talented vocalist and is just sure you're dying to have her sing The Wedding Song as you walk down the aisle).
Your father (who won't say much but will begin a compulsive habit of swigging Maalox directly from the bottle to combat the acid churning in his stomach. How much is all this gonna cost and when will he get his wife back?)
Your college roommate (whom you haven't seen in eight years but is one of your Facebook friends, who is just sure she's going to be asked to be your bridesmaid. After all, you shared so many late-night talks way back when!)
The shiny bridal magazines that scream at you from every newsstand. Their goal is to get you to spend, spend, spend. They do this by showing you all the things you must have, without which your wedding will go down in history as the biggest flop of all time.
The DIY Evangelists (spawned by the recent recession, they have an almost cult-like following on the Internet. They are the polar opposite of the bridal magazine people and will try to convince you to make every aspect of your wedding yourself. Quality of work, talent and time invested have no meaning to this group. As long as you make it yourself, that is all that matters. So what if the last time you picked up a hot glue gun was in home ec class! So what if you have to get up at 3:00 AM on your wedding day to set up chairs and decorate! So what if tissue paper flowers on pipe cleaners are not exactly "you". Suck it up and do it yourself! You'll feel such a sense of accomplishment as you drag your weary body--adorned in your hand-sewn dress--down the aisle.)
The bridal show vendors (who will obtain your contact info from that drawing entry you innocently completed and will then proceed to bombard your mail box, inbox, and voice mail with "offers" for their "one of a kind" products or services. If feeling stalked makes you feel popular, then this is for you!)
Your parish priest--if you happen to be Catholic--(will all of a sudden play a pivotal roll. His place in your life will become particularly crucial if your parents happen to be devout Catholics, and you and your technically-Protestant-but-never-really-went-to-church boyfriend (oops, excuse me...fiance) don't really want a church wedding. Be prepared to explain why 6 weeks of pre-Cana classes aren't for you and that you are planning a civil ceremony on a mountaintop. You will want to be sure there is a fresh jug of Maalox on hand for your dad.)

Those are just a few; the tip of the iceberg, really. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, My Space, Skype, YouTube and the general blogsphere, you have the opportunity for intrusion 24/7. Woohoo!

Ain't love grand? Let the games begin!

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants
Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants

Resolving to Get Healthy? Then Get Married!

2011-01-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

Okay, so maybe there are less monumental efforts you can take to achieve your goals (especially if, for example, you're already married or if you don't have a significant other), but this is good news for engaged couples nonetheless.

Marriage is good for your health! Yes, it's true. Look at me! (Well, don't literally look at me right at this moment, cuz I'm still in bed typing this and I'm wearing less-than-becoming attire and have bed head.) I'm married and I'm healthy, ergo it must be true. Although, I wonder how much of my robust health is due to the daily ingestion of my bioidentical hormone supplements. The again, if I didn't take them, I'd be a screaming mimi, and then my husband would leave me and I'd be both unhealthy and unmarried, so I guess the premise still holds.

Did I mention that my New Year's Resolution was to stay focused? Anyway, back to the topic.

A CDC Study indicates that happily married people (yes, folks, you lose health points if you're in a bad marriage) score higher on nearly every aspect of healthiness--from longevity to being heart-healthy to being happier overall. (There was one area where married people did worse than their unmarried counterparts--weight gain. So, if losing a few pounds is your New Year's resolution, I suggest you take care of that before waltzing down the aisle.)

Read the actual study results here. (Yes, it's a boring government study, but I'm told adding links to my blog is a good thing.)

And in case you were wondering, cohabitating couples don't reap the same benefits. Yep, I guess it's more than "just a piece of paper" after all.

The staff of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants write and perform unique, joyful and memorable wedding ceremonies in Colorado, California and Oregon. Visit our regional websites for more info:

Lyssabeth's:

Colorado Wedding Officiants
Colorado Springs Wedding Officiants
CO Western Slope Wedding Officiants
Bay Area, CA Wedding Officiants
Monterey CA Wedding Officiants
Santa Cruz CA Wedding Officiants

Fort Collins Wedding Officiants (Northern CO)
Rocky Mountain Wedding Officiants (Colorado Mountains)
Oregon Wedding Officiants
Oregon Coast Wedding Officiants