The Simple Dollar offers an excellent distinction between being frugal and being cheap. I'll paraphrase it: one who is frugal looks for the best value for their money. One who is cheap will consider paying only the rock-bottom price for anything, regardless of the quality.
Of course, I had to take this comparison and relate it to the wedding planning scenario. Ergo, here is my comparison between the Cheap and the Frugal Bride. Believe me, I see them both on a daily basis!
A cheap bride is everyone's worst nightmare. She will lower herself to commit unspeakable acts of mayhem all for the glory of bragging about the great deal she obtained. A frugal bride, on the other hand, is genuinely admired for her skill at determining what she wants and thoughtfully pursuing affordable and good-quality resources to bring her desires into reality.
Cheap brides enter the wedding planning process armed with an attitude of lack. "I don't have the money." "It's too expensive." "Wedding vendors only want to charge top dollar and rip you off." "I can't afford that." "I'm so jealous, So-and-so had so much more money to spend on her wedding."
Frugal brides take on the task of planning their wedding with an attitude of joy (and perhaps a bit of adventure). "How can I make this work?" "What are my priorities for my wedding day and how do I budget accordingly?" "How creative can I get?" "Can I do this myself or with the help of my friends and family?" "How did other brides do things creatively and frugally?"
Cheap brides begin every vendor contact with "How much is it?" Frugal brides ask more thoughtful questions, learn what the vendor offers and if the services are more than they can afford will say, "Your service sounds perfect for me, but my budget is $X.XX. Is there any way your package can be modified to accommodate me?"
Cheap brides tend to be...well...kinda victimy (there just isn't a tactful way to say it). "Poor me, I can't have the wedding day of my dreams because (fill in the blank) I don't make enough money, my parents can't afford it, wedding vendors are all in cahoots to scam me, I'm not creative, I'm too busy, yada, yada, yada..."
Cheap brides tend to perceive their wedding vendors (once they finally find the cheapest they can find and actually hire them) as their adversaries. The assume that the vendor is only out to take advantage of them by maximizing their profit. She has already browbeaten them down to their lowest possible fee, but then the cheap bride must also be hyper-vigilant to ensure that her vendors toe the line and do everything that she is paying for them to do (which quite frankly, probably isn't much).
The frugal bride realizes that reputable vendors truly want her to have the best wedding day experience possible. That is, after all, how they stay in business. She expresses her wishes and trusts their professional judgment and integrity knowing that her vendors are on her side.
Frugal brides tend to be more realistic. "I may have to cut back my guest list if I want to have a higher-end meal for the reception." "If we save money by making our own invitations, then I can splurge on the high-end photographer I love." "I'd like to be married in a romantic ceremony for just the two of us so we can use the money for something else."
For a cheap bride, getting something for a rock bottom price is the primary objective. She will opt for the vendor whose style doesn't suit her simply because they have the lowest price. She will ferret out the lowest price possible for every aspect of her wedding.
A frugal bride takes into account price, quality, and perhaps (in cases such as the officiant, the photographer or the wedding planner) the connection she has with the vendor. She is also realistic about her life situation, how much time she has, what her talents and resources are and she chooses vendors or DIY projects accordingly.
Trent of the Simple Dollar summarizes the difference between frugality and cheapness as being one of thought. I couldn't agree more. It's been my experience that frugal brides put much more thought into their wedding planning than cheap brides. This makes sense, for a frugal bride is guided by many criteria: budget, time, values, experience, research, resources and priorities. The cheap bride, on the other hand, has only one objective: to get it as cheaply as possible.
If you're a wedding vendor reading this, then share your stories of cheap verses frugal brides by leaving a comment. And if you are (or were) a frugal bride, please share a tip.
And for the cheap brides?? Well, they were probably only reading this blog for the free information and I'm willing to bet they didn't get past the second paragraph before moving on anyway, so no worries.
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10 comments:
A "cheap" bride wants to pay a courthouse price for a customized ceremony at her choice of location and time.
A "frugal" bride values the time and effort a professional officiant puts into her ceremony.
The frugal bride values her day for the true importance it holds,... she wants to marry the love of her life, and THAT is her priority! HOWEVER, the cheap brides I have seen are more concerned about how big a show they can put on for everyone. They want the 200 guest party with all the bells and whistles and THAT is her priority.
GREAT ARTICLE!!
Great article. The whole DIY movement and gotten off track. It's possible to be a frugal bride and not cut the important things or cheapen the event.
SO true, Maureen! Great, well written article.
Joanne, FlowersFlowers
Thank you all for your comments. I agree--and I think most brides do as well--being a careful wedding shopper doesn't have to mean that price is the only consideration.
Very True; but, it's not always the Bride. I have had some penny pinching Grooms in my office trying to show their fiancé just how good they are at negotiations.
Yes, David-you are correct and your comment reminds me that I meant to put a disclaimer in the post that I did mean both brides AND grooms. That just gets so tiresome to keep typing (and reading!). Thanks for the reminder.
Excellent post as always Maureen! As a frugal bride myself I have a tip for planning. It is important to go into the planning process with a good knowledge of where your strengths are, where your weaknesses are, and what is important to you. Your strengths are places to trim from so you can hire pros to handle your weak spots and those things most important to you.
Kathryn, Photos By Orion
This is such a great article! I love a frugal bride, she appreciates what we do for her and realizes we truly care about her special day and we want to make that dream become a reality for her while keeping her on budget. We are not out to scam her but help her dream of her perfect wedding be achieved. The cheap bride seems to be so unhappy all of the time. She thinks we are out to nickle and dime her at every turn and wants to haggle and try to wear us down thinking she will get free things from us if she complains enough. I always give my frugal brides a wonderful Wedding gift that they do not expect and I really enjoy how excited they are about it. If I have a Cheap bride that has been difficult no matter what I do, I generally do not give them a Wedding gift from me. Frugal vs Cheap bride have the same idea, to keep their budget where it needs to be, it's the approach in which they do it that determines the frugal vs cheap.
Excellent topic
Some of my friend on www.RentAFriend.com
told me about this.
I think this is best!
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